Advertisement
8 Our relationship should remain forever an unprofessional, free, and giving relationship - each to the other.
Our individual contributions to the relationship should be free and from the heart. "Freely ye have received, freely give". We are not professional carpenters or plumbers or housekeepers or laundresses. And when it comes to chores, we try to share. Most of the time, he who is most interested does. The one who is hungry cooks. As we have said, neither of us is the boss. Being in charge is not all that important to either one of us. If anything, just the opposite is true. Nobody in our house wants to be in charge.
I must also avoid taking a "professional" or know-it-all attitude. In the final analysis, personal opinions are just that - personal. Neither of us is a certified expert on alcoholism, the twelve steps, sex, marriage, medicine, child psychology, spirituality, or humility. Neither of us knows when the other should call their sponsor or go to a meeting. God has never whispered in either of our ears, "Dave/Polly, here is what I want you to get Polly/Dave to do..." We believe that when God has information for one of us, He gives it to us directly or indirectly through a third person.
We have found that when we are individually living by the principles of the twelve steps and collectively by the principles of the twelve traditions and maintaining a good relationship with God, a sense of serenity and peace with each other helps to diminish our self-centeredness. Being in touch with all of these things allows us to be free. And if our spirits are to soar, they must be free.
CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 8:
Do these traditions accurately describe my behavior? If not, what needs changing?
Do I try to sound like an expert on things? If so, why do I need to do that? Is my security at risk? Is my fear triggered? Does my ego feel threatened?
Do I believe that one or the other partner should be in charge based on their gender? Or experience? Or education? Or job? Or anything?
Do I make an effort to understand my partners opinions and views? Do I really listen to my mate and show respect for those opinions and views?
Does my identity and feelings of self worth depend upon my relationship with my mate?
Who or what was my role model for a healthy relationship?
Can I give for fun and for free - requiring nothing in return?
Do I charge my mate a fee for being in a relationship with me? If so, what is it? How expensive is my love and companionship?
Do I take hostages in my relationships? Do I feel that my mate belongs to me?
Do I really understand that I will reap what I sow - that what goes around comes around?
Our individual contributions to the relationship should be free and from the heart. "Freely ye have received, freely give". We are not professional carpenters or plumbers or housekeepers or laundresses. And when it comes to chores, we try to share. Most of the time, he who is most interested does. The one who is hungry cooks. As we have said, neither of us is the boss. Being in charge is not all that important to either one of us. If anything, just the opposite is true. Nobody in our house wants to be in charge.
I must also avoid taking a "professional" or know-it-all attitude. In the final analysis, personal opinions are just that - personal. Neither of us is a certified expert on alcoholism, the twelve steps, sex, marriage, medicine, child psychology, spirituality, or humility. Neither of us knows when the other should call their sponsor or go to a meeting. God has never whispered in either of our ears, "Dave/Polly, here is what I want you to get Polly/Dave to do..." We believe that when God has information for one of us, He gives it to us directly or indirectly through a third person.
We have found that when we are individually living by the principles of the twelve steps and collectively by the principles of the twelve traditions and maintaining a good relationship with God, a sense of serenity and peace with each other helps to diminish our self-centeredness. Being in touch with all of these things allows us to be free. And if our spirits are to soar, they must be free.
CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 8:
Do these traditions accurately describe my behavior? If not, what needs changing?
Do I try to sound like an expert on things? If so, why do I need to do that? Is my security at risk? Is my fear triggered? Does my ego feel threatened?
Do I believe that one or the other partner should be in charge based on their gender? Or experience? Or education? Or job? Or anything?
Do I make an effort to understand my partners opinions and views? Do I really listen to my mate and show respect for those opinions and views?
Does my identity and feelings of self worth depend upon my relationship with my mate?
Who or what was my role model for a healthy relationship?
Can I give for fun and for free - requiring nothing in return?
Do I charge my mate a fee for being in a relationship with me? If so, what is it? How expensive is my love and companionship?
Do I take hostages in my relationships? Do I feel that my mate belongs to me?
Do I really understand that I will reap what I sow - that what goes around comes around?
posted by:
|
South Bay
|
Advertisement
Advertisement