2. For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority: A loving God as he may express Himself in our group conscience. Each of us is God's trusted servant - neither governs

God is the boss. He is the one authority and we must learn somehow to subjugate our ego's and allow Him to do what he does best: guide his children. When one partner speaks for the relationship without consulting the other member, they take on responsibilities to which they have no claim. Often, one partner is a dominating individual. Sometimes, one partner is very content to allow the other to dominate the relationship. This allows the dominator to feel indispensable and important and without realizing it, he or she then assumes a managing and controlling attitude. This is especially true when the one being dominated is afraid and unsure of themselves and want someone else to be responsible for all the decisions. They may feel that this absolves them of any kind of blame for mistakes or failure. In a situation such as this, love doesn't exist. We must remember that active participation by both members in the relationship is vital to its growth. No partner can assume the position of speaking for the other without first having consulted him or her. Another word for this, at the very least, is courtesy. Usually, most of us find courtesy easily practiced with strangers or those outside our relationships yet when we are dealing with the most precious persons in our lives, we sometimes leave simple kindness out of our manner.

Of course, we are not aware of God personally sorting out our arguments and disagreements. We have to somehow work those out. There are times when each of us thinks the other is dead wrong about something. We are certain of it. But no matter what is done or said, he/she is not even going to see his/her error, much less admit it. Could such circumstances turn into a rip-roaring fight? You bet! We've all been in such predicaments. What does one do? We just say, "you could be right" and then drop it. This solution is absolutely magic.

There is another tool that we can recommend but you probably won't like it.. We call it the 8 miracle words for problem solving. Are you ready? "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

One problem we have had is that neither of us likes confrontation. We will stuff things rather than risk a flare-up. We are too insecure. The risk for doing this however is that resentments can build up. So it is important that we do whatever it takes to communicate with each other.

When this tradition is practiced, a state of humility exists because the authority is a Higher Power.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 2:

Do I insist on being the leader. Do I feel that it is my place to govern? Do we strive for equity?
Do I try to speak for my mate without consulting him/her?
Do I criticize my mate? Or do I trust him/her?
Am I absolutely trustworthy? Try this little prayer: "God, treat me tomorrow the way I treat my mate today. Or this one: God, help me not to do anything today that I can't tell my mate about tonight".
Is my ego so strong that I must have credit for more than I do? Am I so insecure that I must always have praise for my actions and ideas?
Do I do my share? And is that my opinion or my partners?
Does the thought of God being in charge of our relationship cause me any discomfort or do I like and rely on that idea?