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There are many reasons why people stay in a relationship other than a mutual desire: feelings of financial security, the need for emotional security by having a mate, feeling trapped due to responsibilities such as having children to raise and the fear of having to do so alone. These are difficult problems to deal with and are the breeding ground for anger and resentments.
Some days, we are both intolerable or uncompromising and the desire is all there is. When either of us is being an jackass, the other must try to be accepting, kind, tolerant, loving, and understanding - and silent. After all, the next time the roles will be reversed and it will be the others turn to be a jerk. Believe us, during those times you will want kindness and understanding.
The first two years we were married we were totally obsessed with each other to the exclusion of nearly every other person or thing in our lives. We were absolutely inseparable and our whole existence was moonlight and passion. It has since become more. We are now also friends, helpmates, confidantes. We now try to be patient, tolerant, with regard for the others feelings. Do you know what we would do for each other? Anything!
Enthusiasm for our relationship ebbs and flows. There are days when one or the other of us become lazy about upholding our part of a relationship. But these attitudes are temporary and they pass because of the fundamental aspect of our relationship: we love each other - no matter what else may go on in the world, Polly and Dave truly, deeply love each other. And when our best is not very good, we always try to remember this bit of wisdom: if we could do better, we would.
CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 3:
Do my actions say that I have a desire to be in this relationship.
Do I set myself up as a judge of my partners intentions or sincerity? Do I judge my partner in anything?
Do I approach my marriage unselfishly or do I depend on my mates language, looks, race, education, age, appearance, job, or other such things for my own self esteem? What does my mate have to do to keep my ego fluffed up.
Am I committed to and do I encourage my mates spiritual, professional, and individual growth and freedom?
Am I able to share my feelings with my partner? Can I listen to my partners feelings with an open mind?
Am I reluctant to work on my part of the relationship?
Some days, we are both intolerable or uncompromising and the desire is all there is. When either of us is being an jackass, the other must try to be accepting, kind, tolerant, loving, and understanding - and silent. After all, the next time the roles will be reversed and it will be the others turn to be a jerk. Believe us, during those times you will want kindness and understanding.
The first two years we were married we were totally obsessed with each other to the exclusion of nearly every other person or thing in our lives. We were absolutely inseparable and our whole existence was moonlight and passion. It has since become more. We are now also friends, helpmates, confidantes. We now try to be patient, tolerant, with regard for the others feelings. Do you know what we would do for each other? Anything!
Enthusiasm for our relationship ebbs and flows. There are days when one or the other of us become lazy about upholding our part of a relationship. But these attitudes are temporary and they pass because of the fundamental aspect of our relationship: we love each other - no matter what else may go on in the world, Polly and Dave truly, deeply love each other. And when our best is not very good, we always try to remember this bit of wisdom: if we could do better, we would.
CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 3:
Do my actions say that I have a desire to be in this relationship.
Do I set myself up as a judge of my partners intentions or sincerity? Do I judge my partner in anything?
Do I approach my marriage unselfishly or do I depend on my mates language, looks, race, education, age, appearance, job, or other such things for my own self esteem? What does my mate have to do to keep my ego fluffed up.
Am I committed to and do I encourage my mates spiritual, professional, and individual growth and freedom?
Am I able to share my feelings with my partner? Can I listen to my partners feelings with an open mind?
Am I reluctant to work on my part of the relationship?
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South Bay
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