Friends of Bill W.'s topics - tribe.net

The Cult of AA

gangsterboyscout — Wed, 02 May 2007 15:59:48 GMT

I picked this up off another recovery tribe.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18368218/site/newsweek/

Thoughts and opinions?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 15 replies

my support network

shivati — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:44:01 GMT

im doing this to help me give back and open up my support network...
Please become apart of an interactive, multi-functional support network- and grow in gratitude and self-love. For all but particularly those struggling with addictions and recovery, loss, insecurity, abandonment, and rejection, or just plain fear and anxiety- you've found a safe place... solution based and supportive.

The Gratitude Wall
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=194491594072&ref=mf

My 90 meditations in 90 days self discovery blog and conversation
http://astraastarr.wordpress.com/

29 gifts in 29 days
http://www.29gifts.org/profile/Shivati

and coming soon- on Twitter too! thanks :)

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Beyond the Steps

gangsterboyscout — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:14:26 GMT

Got to thinking this morning about what other things, events, books, people and sources have had great influences on the path of my sobriety beyond the steps, fellowship and sponsorship. I've kissed a lot of frogs in the recovery, self help and spiritual arenas over 27 years of 'seeking' but here are some of the gems:

• Emmet Fox - Sermon on the Mount was huge for me. Early groups in AA leaned heavily on this book before the Big Book was written. In many ways it takes the principles I first learned in AA and double dog dared me to live them much deeper.

• The poem Desiderata has been a favorite guide for me throughout my sobriety. Its written in a way that always calms me and points me in the right direction, no matter my life's circumstance.

• Eckhart Tolle's - The Power of Now was a fabulous validation of many of the conclusions I'd come to at about 22 years of sober work. What I got out of it was 'Yes! You're on the right path. Now lets move forward!'

• A staple around the rooms from where I hail has been Gibran's - The Prophet. Very similar to Desiderata in his outlook and style but much more fleshed out and broken into digestible bites.

• A decade back I hit a wall with several areas of my life that I'd beaten to death with a sponsor and steps and simply couldnt make any further progress with. Psychiatrist Carolyn Brothers worked with me for 18 months on death, molestation, adoption/abandonment and diabetes in a great, non-passive way that made me look at my loyalty to these things as my identity, ultimately freeing me in ways that have really rocketed my life and recovery.

So what 'non-AA approved' resources have you discovered along your path that really made a difference in your recovery?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

doing a 90 in 90 meditation

shivati — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:10:25 GMT

and blogging about it- i would love constructive, recovery oriented feedback
http://astraastarr.wordpress.com/

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

20 Today

hundbiss — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 21:55:34 GMT

April 9, 1989.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 8 replies

Step 1

hundbiss — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:03:34 GMT

It's that time again, boys and girls. Take the nuts and bolts of this thing, share our ESH, and maybe find a new angle we hadn't thought about.

Of all the steps, this one was probably the hardest. Yeah, sure the actual working of the step itself wasn't much, but all the preparation that went into getting ready to take this step was agonizing. I mean, drinking myself into a stupor, losing jobs, places to live, cars, friends, self respect, money, and anything of else of value were all requirements for me to finally give it up and take Step 1 squarely on.

When I got introduced into this program, I had no idea I was an alcoholic. I didn't go to my first meeting because I thought I had a problem. I went cuz 2 totally insane but dry maniacs told me it would be fun and talked me into going with them. It didn't stick of course, but the seed was planted nonetheless. I went on about my business drinking like a fish and taking any other substance that happened my way for a few more years. As time went by, I grew to notice a small problem with how I drank and used. Nothing serious, mind you, but something to keep an eye on. I went to meetings from time to time and put together a month or two here and there. Got a DUI as the result of an injury accident. Thankfully, the people I crashed into weren't seriously injured as far as I know. The court ordered me back to AA and I managed to get some more time together. Still not convinced, I drank for another year or so, spiraling downward the whole time. In the end I woke up from a week long bender not having any idea what had transpired in the preceding 8-10 days but knowing this: I was not destined to Live Fast, Die Young. I would live a long, slow, painful existence suffering every injustice and stupid decision I would surely make. The realization that I was indeed an alcoholic had finally sunk down into my heart. There comes a time for every alky that he/she just KNOWS. I went back to AA with a whole new attitude. Almost. I tried it one more time a week later only to find that just like every other time before, I was simply unable to control my drinking. Once I cracked the first bottle open it was game on until I couldn't stand anymore.

At this point, admitting I was powerless over alcohol was a no brainer. Admitting my life was unmanageable was another matter. I balked at the idea of not being fully in charge of my world. Fortunately, it was a simple thing for my sponsor to throw my dick in the dirt and show me that I had only succeeded in trashing everything around me. Speaking of my sponsor, he's one of the wackos that introduced me to this thing. In between that first meeting and my real attempts at sobriety, he had actually worked the steps himself. The difference was nothing less than amazing. I had looked him up at some point and immediately noticed the change. Gone was the edgy, back to the wall, hand on the gun, eyes on the exits, survival mode. In it's place was a sense of calm. Serenity. I recognized on some level that I wanted what he had, so I asked him to sponsor me.

And so I began on this road to recovery. What a long strange trip it's been.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 18 replies

THE MONEY COLLECTED BY THE SOUTH BAY ROUNDUP TORRANCE CALIFORNIA -- PAID FOR GOODNESS

Bill T — Wed, 13 May 2009 02:34:04 GMT

FOR YEAR I AND OTHERS HAVE BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT THE MONEY COLLECTED BY THE SOUTHBAY ROUNDUP AKA SOUTHBAY RIPOFF GOES. WHERE'S THE HONESTY OR IS IT THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF DEFINITIONS OF WORKING THE PROGRAM? OLD TIMERS SITTING AROUND TLC CLUB, TORRANCE, CALIFORNIA TELL ME THE MONEY GOES INTO THE POCKET OF THE HIGH PRIEST OF AA (A CON DRESSED UP AS A MINISTER) TALKING SPIRITUAL CONSTIPATION BULLCRAP. THAT COUPLED WITH OTHER OLD HYMERS WITH NO END TO THEIR GOODNESS RESULTS IN AA IN THE SOUTHBAY SUFFERING FROM A "CULT" FEELING IN MEETINGS.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 2 replies

TiR - Tradition 11

gangsterboyscout — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:25:50 GMT

11. We individually convey our beliefs and philosophy through attraction rather than promotion. We are each in charge of our own anonymity.

T o us, this says that we rely on our attraction to each other, and that our anonymity is a personal asset.. We don't hustle or jive each other. That was our style in other marriages and it never worked out. We often lied about where we were, what we were doing, or who we were with. One cannot successfully be dishonest with a mate for very long. If you are still trying that, give it up.

We both try very hard not to take cheap shots at each other. We know each other well so we know where the others Achilles tendon is. A thoughtless cheap shot can quickly and easily escalate into an angry disaster and the outcome can be devastating. Some remarks, no matter how much you may later regret them, will not - cannot - ever be forgotten.

Another aspect of this tradition, that of attraction, is that we need to be physically attractive to our partner. This concerns personal hygiene. We owe it to our mate to bathe and wear clean clothes (or clean skin - depending on what we are doing). We also believe we should not embarrass or humiliate our mate in public with obscenity or vulgar tasteless behavior of any kind - spoken or otherwise.

The spirit of this tradition is that we accept another person as they are, putting both the Golden and Silver Rules into practice within the relationship. The Golden rule is, of course, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The Silver rule is: "Don't do for others what they need to do for themselves".

Finally, anonymity in a relationship is that ability to do something good and not have to advertise it. Anonymity is a positive attitude, not complaining when things are not just as we would have them. Anonymity is keeping silent when our partner makes a mistake. Anonymity is saying encouraging things to our loved ones; showing gratitude for small favors, etc. Anonymity is the ability to do good for goods sake without having to take credit or receive special strokes. Anonymity is being happy doing good without expectations of reward or return. A nice by-product of this practice of anonymity is the spiritual principle, 'what we sow, so shall we reap.' There is no room in healthy relationships for self-glorification and pride but there is much room for great amounts of gratitude, humility and a willingness to be of service to others

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 11:

* Is my relationship treated with care in public?
* Do I think my relationship is attractive to others? Or does it appear shabby?
* Is my partner ever embarrassed or humiliated by my appearance or actions?
* Do I give relationships a bad name?
* Am I guilty of promotion rather than attraction?
* Can I go about my affairs without giving my partner advice on how he or she should conduct theirs?
* Can I do good things for my relationship anonymously? DO I do good things for my relationship anonymously?
* Can I give my partner the right to be wrong? Can I give my partner the right to be right?
* How do I feel when my partner criticizes the way I am trying to live my recovery program?
* How can my partners being in touch with reality help me.
* Which do I give more of to my partner: Positive strokes or negative zingers?
* What happens when one partner in the relationship is getting noticeably better and the other is not?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

On this day..

AverageAmerican — Tue, 12 May 2009 14:16:00 GMT

May 12, 1935 at 5:00 P.M.

Bill meets Dr. Bob at the Gate House of the Seiberling Estate. Bob is
still drinking. Bill tells Bob of his experiences with alcohol; of
the hopes, promises, and failures; the obsession, compulsion, and
physical allergy; of Ebby's visit and his simple message, "show me
your faith and by my works I will show you mine."

Dr. Bob understood with sudden clarity - the difference with the
Oxford Group. "The spiritual approach was as useless as any other if
you soaked it up like a sponge and kept it to yourself." The purpose
of life was not to "get," it was to "give."

Bill presented Dr. Bob with four aspects of one core idea:
(1) Utter Hopelessness
(2) Totally Deflated
(3) Requiring Conversion
(4) Needing Others

.
.
.
There is a picture of the gate house, and an article (from 2006)
about the meeting between Dr. Bob and Bill W. at
<http://www.akron.com/20060601/wsl72.asp>

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

Passing it on

AverageAmerican — Fri, 22 May 2009 10:17:34 GMT

Today's AWSI:There are really only two things that I want from this program. I
want to be as well as I thought I was when I had 90 days of sobriety,
and I want to be able to take my own inventory as well as I take
everyone else's.

~

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

28 Years Today

sweetmanstrongman — Tue, 19 May 2009 00:03:18 GMT

Every year I go back to the bar where I left a half of glass of bourbon on the bar and walked out the door. I go in visualize the drink sitting on the bar where I left it and remember what I felt like when I walked out. I want to remember that feeling of incomprehensible demoralization so I don't have to live it again a day at a time.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 2 replies

TiR - Tradition 10

gangsterboyscout — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:29:24 GMT

10. We each are entitled to our own opinion on outside issues. Hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

W ithin the context of relationships, we believe this means that we are careful about our opinions and rely on "live and let live". We do not drag our relationship into public controversy. In fact, we avoid heated controversy completely. It is usually fired by some form of fear and carries with it power-driven anger, resentment, and emotional damage. Next time you get into a heated argument with your mate, listen very carefully and you will hear his or her mind snap shut. Then ask yourself this question: how likely is it that God's will for me is to scream and yell at another one of his kids?

We neither carry "our" opinion around. I carry mine - Polly carries hers. We don't agree on everything and I have to let Polly be Polly.

We try to always be courteous. The very essence of Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon Family Groups is treating others - all others - with patience, tolerance, courtesy, and kindness. A quiet composed response will dampen anger. It adds to our dignity and stature when we are able to avoid saying things we will surely regret.

We also don't speak ill of each other to friends or in public. Being publicly critical gets to be a habit and, in our opinion, is one of the symptoms of alcoholism. We are always railing away that it is someone else's fault. Besides, feelings are temporary unless stated publicly. Somehow, giving voice to them in public gives them authenticity and longevity. They are remembered. Look at the tabloids.

Love is an action - not a feeling. If you love someone, you treat them like you love them. If you want to know whether or not you are loved, ask your heart. Your heart knows everything. Do you feel loved? Do the words match the actions?

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 10:

* Do I give the impression that "we" have an opinion and I am it's keeper?
* Am I careful to keep confidences given to me by my partner?
* If my relationship with my partner were not guided by this tradition, what would it be like? Where would I be?
* Am I publicly critical of my mate? If so, what evidence can I offer to substantiate that I have sound judgment? Am I not a member of a recovery program?
* What would my mate say if asked whether or not I loved her?
* Does either of us have emotional scars from repeated heated controversy and struggles for power and control.
* How important is it for me to be right? Would I rather be right than happy?
* Do I expect or need my partner to see and feel the same as me on issues?
* Can I let my partner disagree with my ideas without feeling rejected and without getting defensive?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

TiR - Tradition Nine

gangsterboyscout — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 15:12:23 GMT

9. Our relationship ought never be organized or under the control of only one partner.

E ach alcoholic has been an individual who, because of his alcoholism, could seldom control himself. Nor could any other human being govern the alcoholics obsession to drink, his drive to have things his own way. Over and over, families, friends, employers, doctors, clergymen, and judges have tried their hand at disciplining alcoholics. Almost without exception, the failure to control an alcoholic by force or intimidation has been complete. Yet we alcoholics can be led, we can be inspired, we can and do yield to the will of God. It is not strange therefore that the only real authority to be found in AA is that of spiritual principal. It is never personal authority.

Our defiant individualism was the main reason we all failed in life and resorted to alcohol and drugs. When we couldn't compel others to conform to our plans and desires, we drank. When others tried to pressure us, we also drank. Even though we are now sober, we still resonate with these early traits which caused us to resist authority. Therein probably hangs a clue to our lack of personal government in AA, manifested by no fees, no dues, no rules and regulations, no demand that alcoholics conform, no leaders - just trusted servants.

With all this in mind, it follows that a relationship ought never be organized. It needs to be spontaneous, unpretentious, unrehearsed, and candid. Organization carries with it a certain level of safety. Organization is meant to avoid or pre-empt the unexpected, usually because of fear of the unknown.

This tradition is also an exhortation to have fun, be playful, lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Our lives have been very difficult at times and there weren't a lot of laughs. Have some laughs. Exercise your sense of humor. As a friend of mine says, "if you want to hear God laugh, share your plans with Him". In a personal situation, I was without a job for about a year and a half. Throughout that entire time, Polly was steadfast in her love and support and the thing I treasure most was her cheerfulness and attitude and her letting me know that she still loved me and had faith in me.

We urge you to be wary. Organization leads to attempts at control, the nemesis of a happy relationship. As we have just said, attempts to control are so futile as to be almost laughable and lead only to anger, rebellion, and resentments. A marriage or romantic relationship is no place for a constitution, org chart, bylaws, or Robert's Rules of Order.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 9:

Do I try to be the boss?
Am I mature enough to understand and use the principles of AA in my relationship - even if no one makes me do so - with a sense of personal responsibility?
Do I exercise patience and humility in the things I do in my relationship?
Do I assume responsibility or do I try to take on authority?
Have I learned how and when to step aside gracefully when I begin to overstep my bounds?
Who decides who does what in the day-to-day business of a relationship?
Am I a "peace at any price" person? Doesn't this get to be expensive at times?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

TiR - Tradition Eight

gangsterboyscout — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 05:57:16 GMT

8 Our relationship should remain forever an unprofessional, free, and giving relationship - each to the other.

Our individual contributions to the relationship should be free and from the heart. "Freely ye have received, freely give". We are not professional carpenters or plumbers or housekeepers or laundresses. And when it comes to chores, we try to share. Most of the time, he who is most interested does. The one who is hungry cooks. As we have said, neither of us is the boss. Being in charge is not all that important to either one of us. If anything, just the opposite is true. Nobody in our house wants to be in charge.

I must also avoid taking a "professional" or know-it-all attitude. In the final analysis, personal opinions are just that - personal. Neither of us is a certified expert on alcoholism, the twelve steps, sex, marriage, medicine, child psychology, spirituality, or humility. Neither of us knows when the other should call their sponsor or go to a meeting. God has never whispered in either of our ears, "Dave/Polly, here is what I want you to get Polly/Dave to do..." We believe that when God has information for one of us, He gives it to us directly or indirectly through a third person.

We have found that when we are individually living by the principles of the twelve steps and collectively by the principles of the twelve traditions and maintaining a good relationship with God, a sense of serenity and peace with each other helps to diminish our self-centeredness. Being in touch with all of these things allows us to be free. And if our spirits are to soar, they must be free.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 8:

Do these traditions accurately describe my behavior? If not, what needs changing?
Do I try to sound like an expert on things? If so, why do I need to do that? Is my security at risk? Is my fear triggered? Does my ego feel threatened?
Do I believe that one or the other partner should be in charge based on their gender? Or experience? Or education? Or job? Or anything?
Do I make an effort to understand my partners opinions and views? Do I really listen to my mate and show respect for those opinions and views?
Does my identity and feelings of self worth depend upon my relationship with my mate?
Who or what was my role model for a healthy relationship?
Can I give for fun and for free - requiring nothing in return?
Do I charge my mate a fee for being in a relationship with me? If so, what is it? How expensive is my love and companionship?
Do I take hostages in my relationships? Do I feel that my mate belongs to me?
Do I really understand that I will reap what I sow - that what goes around comes around?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Tir - Tradition Seven

gangsterboyscout — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 16:33:59 GMT

7. Each of us ought to strive to be fully self-supporting spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

T o us, this means that each of us must be responsible for himself. We must fully concede that our troubles are of our own making. If we cannot understand and accept that notion, then we are clearly saying that our troubles are caused by other people or places or things. If that is so, then for us to get better, we must get people, places, or things to change. But we've already conceded that we are powerless over people, places, or things. So that line of thinking is a dead end. It is futile to think we will find anything in being a victim other than depression and a grinding, oppressive sense of defeat.

There is also the issue of control here. Neither of us must do anything to limit the options of the other to avoid being hurt or frightened. Examples: "you must behave so that I don't worry, or become embarrassed. You must do (or not do) something so that I don't become afraid.

Why is it important in a relationship that both members are independent spiritually, emotionally and physically? In our view, it is easy for the member of the relationship that is bringing in the finances, or the greater amount of finances, to control through the purse strings. This control can become ropes to bind the other partner. Resentments, fear, and other problems occur from this type of attitude and action. The non-earning or lesser-earning member the relationship may feel that they are losing their identity. The earning member of the relationship may begin to feel that their only purpose is to be a paycheck in the relationship.

Being self-supporting is impossible if one of the partners becomes the Higher Power for the other. The same is true when one person in the relationship is overly dependent on the other for their emotional well being. Our self-worth comes from within and from God, not from having to have someone in our life in order to feel to feel okay about ourselves.

When we are dependent upon someone else for our well being, we are vulnerable prey for sick relationships. This is especially true in the person who cannot feel whole without a love partner in their life all the time. Because of this sick, exaggerated need, the person fails to find a lasting relationship and thus goes from person to person trying to find themselves and some security through someone else. We believe we are here to enhance each others lives - not to be each others lives.

When each partner of the relationship understands that they are responsible for their own survival and progress, a greater spiritual strength flows into each and the relationship is made doubly strong. Each partner is able to do their own part without asking or expecting the other to do it for them. We each are able to be responsible for our own growth.

We believe that if we are not responsible for ourselves, we cannot be an equal in our relationships. We become potential victims for the managers and controllers of the world.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 7:

Do I try to be boss? Do I attempt to assume control of my partner and our relationship?
Do my needs for comfort or a feeling of safety limit my partners options?
Do I accept responsibility for myself? Can I admit to my innermost self that my problems are of my own making?
Do I try to manage and control through the purse strings?
Am I managed and controlled by the purse strings?
Do I think that because something is good for me personally that it is also good for my mate?
Do I deceive myself by thinking how unselfish and giving I am when in reality I am giving only when I can do it on my own terms? Can I remember that giving is a position of control and that receiving is a position of powerlessness.
Do I take responsibility for my own physical needs (health, diet, exercise)?
Can I point to at least one thing, right now, that determines the degree of healthy independence I have?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

The Energizer Book

AverageAmerican — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:55:17 GMT

For those of you who enjoy AA history, today (April 10) is the 70th
anniversary of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. This was the
date of publication listed on the copyright.

~ it just keep going and going

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Sober Blasphemy

gangsterboyscout — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:06:23 GMT

I dont begin to assume i know the will of God. I do know that for myself the myriad dogmatic and institutionalized rote packagings of what God wants rings incredibly hollow to me. I continually feel as if I have to suspend disbelief on a shark jumping scale to accept many of the premises around me, both in AA, amongst my friends and on tv.
What I *do actually know* is that when I am in the moment, present, living within a principle, I feel connected, clear, without fear. I have an understanding and compassion for others around me and an ability to help. In so doing, as conduit, I am fed as I offer those things to others - to everyone's benefit. *That's what i know.*

Everything else? Meh. Usually it's my ego having a grand ol time. Though I had to ask all those questions and try those hats on for size, often with complete earnestness, to get to where I am now so that i can continue to move forward. Perhaps to a place where I'll be dining on crow-infused humble pie. :^)

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

TiR - Tradition Six

gangsterboyscout — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:01:30 GMT

6. We ought never single-handedly endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise lest problems of money, property, or prestige divert us from our commitment to each other.

This tradition means that either one can endorse things for themselves but not for both. Neither of us can make loans without the others prior knowledge and agreement. Neither can say, "come on and move into our house for awhile". We have to remember that we are a team and that we must always consider the other.

It is our belief that a partner ought not be overly supportive spiritually, emotionally, or physically to the relationship. That is to say, one should not work harder on their partner's program than they do. One needs the assurance that their well-being and/or sobriety is between them and God and does not depend on another person. There is no human alive that does not ultimately have feet of clay. Despite their very best intentions, others will ultimately fail from time to time.

This is important in protecting the relationship and its unity. It keeps each one of us responsible for themselves. Neither of us can meet all of the needs of the other. We are each responsible for taking care of ourselves, but we are enhanced by our association with each other. Our separateness is our mutual strength. It promotes a relationship of healthy equals.

A partner should be supportive spiritually, emotionally and physically to the relationship, but a mature partner doesn't do for the other what they can do for themselves. Doing so could promote an inflated ego which would divert the primary purpose of the relationship, which is to express God's love and not one's own self-will. It is our experience that God does not do for us what we should and can do for ourselves. God helps when we need something beyond our own power - this is part of God's love for us. We believe He realizes that to help us when we can help ourselves is to cripple us and to compromise his greatest of all gifts: free choice.

Being needed to be needed seems to be one of the symptoms of our disease. We have each found that from time to time, we have an over-developed sense of responsibility. Without realizing it we can create situations in which we place ourselves in the role of helper, fixer, or enabler. This kind of behavior can create sick dependencies in those we try to help. We have a false sense of security when we are needed in this way. We think that we are okay because we think that we are fulfilling a vital role. The tragedy to this is that our self-esteem is placed in the hands of others and when they no longer "need us" we feel worthless.

We encourage each other and are interested in each other's growth, but we have found that we must each allow the other the dignity to grow, and perhaps to fail on their own without assistance, insistence, or advice. We allow each other to have different ideas, concepts, beliefs, and feelings.

Partners compliment one another. They are not crutches for one another. Being totally dependent upon another person isn't living and it is surely not love. This tradition protects each individual's identity in the relationship and thus preserves the unity of the relationship. The best relationship are those where dependence is mutual, independence is equal, and obligations are reciprocal."

We are proud of each other. We admire each other for different reasons. We learn a lot from each other. On a personal note, Polly is the kindest, most non-judgmental person I know. I watch her sponsor many people and work tirelessly on behalf of AA. That is what she does - that is Polly. I can't take credit for her acts. There is some spillover from her actions that I get to enjoy. I get special attention at conferences where she speaks when I go with her but I never lose sight of what that's all about. I know that Polly is also proud of me for what I do and she knows that I don't rely on her actions for my self-worth.

Kahlil Gibran wrote about marriage in his book, The Prophet:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each others keeping.
for only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
for the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 6:

Do I encourage and support my partner?
What is motivating me when I try to be all things to my partner?
Can I hear God's voice when I am screaming at my mate?
Do I allow my partner the dignity to fail?
Do I pretend to agree with my partner just to keep things going?
Do I take responsibility for my own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs?
Am I in this relationship just to feel needed or loved?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Principles at Work?

gangsterboyscout — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 15:42:07 GMT

My whole life work has been a drudgery to me. I was adversarial with every boss I ever had and was always quick to buy into the office cooler bitch and moan sessions. My last job I did the same thing, and was quickly working my way out the door with my constant griping about how the boss was doing it wrong when one day it dawned on me that it wasnt my job to run the company. I know that sounds incredibly sarcastic but for me it was an epiphanal moment!
*My job was to make my bosses job easier - and that's my job!*
Since that day I have enjoyed my work, no matter how mundane at times. That was 8 years ago and I think she's raised her voice to me once since. Last month we were all told that the company is folding into our canadian subsidiary and she cried when she gave me my 2 month notice. A far cry from the openly tense relationship we had when I thought the company owed me.
When I looked at my boss the way Dr. Paul looked at his wife, Max in the story 'Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict' with my magical, magnifying mind the more critical I was of her the worse of a boss she was. When I remember how many hats she wears every day, how many balls she has in the air at any one time and how skillful she is at managing all that, those traits shine. The choice is mine which way i see it. Adding God to that equation always seems to make the difference.
Once I started practicing humility and service after I punched the clock everything changed. It made all the difference. It really had been as if I was keeping God out of my work life.

Have you ever read Chuck Chamberlain's 'A New Pair of Glasses'? He talks a great deal about practicing principles in business and it's where my sponsor got his oft repeated 'You gotta do it for free and for fun!" My life changed when I started to apply the Joy of Living to my workplace too.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

TiR - Tradition Five

gangsterboyscout — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 15:43:53 GMT

5. A relationship has but one primary purpose - to love each other and to serve as an expression of God's love.

This tradition has to do with our primary purpose and fully understanding what our primary purpose is. Our primary purpose is to express the theme of love, loyalty, family, and unity in all that we do and to share this knowledge freely with others. Conducting this relationship within AA (or AA/AFG) is a requirement for us. What we have is a relationship based on recovery. It always has been and must continue to be or it won't survive. We are self-admittedly alcoholics and our behavior is that of recovered alcoholics. That means that we are sometimes selfish and self-willed. We sometimes become restless, irritable, and discontented. Most importantly, we can easily deceive ourselves and our motives. It is only within the framework of AA that we can remember that whenever either of us is upset, there is something personally wrong. That our troubles are of our own making. That we individually have a part in everything that goes on. Neither of us must ever forget that whenever there is a disagreement between us, we each sincerely believe that we are the one that is right!

Tradition five also asks us to give comfort, encouragement, and understanding to our partner. When one of us does something or says something that is harmful or hurtful, it is often because we are unhappy with something about ourselves and could possibly need compassion instead of judgment or an angry response. Rather than lashing out, we try to say to ourselves: "At a time like this, what do I think a loving mate would do?" We then try to do that. If you can't come up with an idea of what you think a loving mate would do, try to find someone that you feel displays those qualities and ask them how to respond. You might also ask God to allow you to see the other person through His eyes.

Neither of us is a reflection of the other. Each is their own person. We strive to be uncomplicated. Each of us tries to play a part in all aspects of our life together; however, we don't insist on fixed, precise equality. Things are seldom precisely equal. Sometimes the biggest share of the load one of us can carry is about 20% but we are putting out 100% of what we have just to cover that 20%. As we talked about earlier, we all bring our baggage with us into relationships and most of us had a lot of baggage.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 5:

Do we have a "primary purpose" and do we know what it is?
Do I resort to emotional blackmail? Do I ever start sentences with the phrase, "If you loved me you would...."
Do I demand precise equality? And if so, do I monitor my share as closely as I monitor my mates? Do I really understand that my troubles are of my own making?
Do I really understand that I have a part in everything and that whenever I am upset, there is something wrong with me?
Do we express God's love in our relationship and do we share it with others?
How important is liking myself to my relationship. Do I have or need self-esteem, self-respect?
Am I a patient and uncritical listener?
Can I see my partner through God's eyes or hear my partner through God's ears?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

AAs Success rate?

gangsterboyscout — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:24:51 GMT

If I had to guess I'd say that AA's recovery rate has dropped in the last 20 years from a mix of overexposure and dilution. Rehabs mushroomed during the 80's, sending forth legions of new people with inner children, pop psychology and that whole selfish program thing, some of which directly contradicts the tenants of AA. Then in the 90's things went completely surreal when AA became 'cool' in Hollywood. People started attending meetings strictly for social networking purposes, followed closely by a widespread torching of the principle of anonymity. Then the court system jumped in and started sentencing people to AA meetings.

The book reminds me that we know only a little and that God will reveal more to us. I think that's certainly true to a degree. Hell the word sponsor isnt even used in the first 164. Any number of bits of AA folk wisdom could be argued for as well. The majority of expansions however probably left H&I and CPC as a couple of fingers in the fairly bursting dike of AA promotion from the outside in. Its small wonder the rate has dropped.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 30 replies

TiR - Tradition Four

gangsterboyscout — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 06:14:40 GMT

4. Each of us should be autonomous except in matters affecting the other, our family, or society as a whole

Each partner should be autonomous except in matters affecting the other partner, other members (e.g. children or parents) or the relationship as a whole. Another way to say this is that we must have the ability to become unselfish. Our thinking must become, how does this affect us rather than how does this affect me.

This tradition gives our relationships freedom - complete freedom in all essential matters. Each partner is free to choose their own way of functioning, yet this freedom carries the responsibility of preserving the unity of the relationship as a whole.

Autonomy means self-governing. In order to be autonomous, we must first realize we are God's kids - not just someone's child, mother, father, brother, sister, wife, husband, etc. When we ask God what we are to do, one day at a time, and then go about trying to do His will, we do not endanger our relationship. What does this mean in practical terms?

Dave likes backpacking, mountaineering, kayaking, rock climbing, working out at the gym. He is free to do these things or anything else as long as it does not hurt Polly in any way. Polly is very feminine and has little interest in such things. She doesn't have to ask if it's OK for her to go away for the weekend to speak at a convention. She is her own person. It is not the responsibility of either of us to decide what is good for the other.

Allowing your mate to be free - to be responsible for himself should not be a stumbling block. We each actively encourage the other to follow their bliss and their heart. We have become secure within ourselves and our relationship so we do not feel such an attitude is threatening. Neither of us is an extension of the personality or attitude or being of the other.

At the same time, we feel like we don't have the right to commit the other without asking first. And certainly when it comes to our children, autonomy is out of place. We must communicate and agree.

As always, such freedom brings responsibility. Because we are mostly autonomous, it is up to us individually to avoid any action that might harm our relationship. We must always remember that we have personal and relational defects and that these defects are forever lurking in the background ready to pounce.

The Fourth Tradition suggests that we should take an honest look at our relationship, asking about each of our independently planned actions. Will they in any way compromise or subvert the alliance that we have worked so hard on.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 4:

Do I feel like there are only certain ways to do things? And are they my ways? And do I insist on things being done in those ways?
Do I always think about how or if my decisions will affect my partner? And if so, do I communicate with my partner and come to agreement?
Am I willing to go to any lengths - his/her lengths, not mine - to protect the integrity of the relationship?
Do I carefully avoid injuring my mate emotionally, physically, or spiritually?
How do I deal with my partners anger regarding something I've done through my autonomy? Am I defensive? Do I try to subdue him/her with still greater anger? Do I point out previous "mistakes" they have made? Do I try to punish him/her in any way?

No one is apparently reading these but I'll keep adding them anyways as a public service. :^)

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

Edwin Throckmorton Thatcher (29 April 1896 – 21 March 1966)

AverageAmerican — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 21:43:26 GMT

Ebby Thatcher's Eulogy

By Bill W.

In his seventieth year, and on the twenty-first of March, my friend and sponsor "Ebby" passed beyond our sight and hearing.

On a chill November afternoon in 1934 it was Ebby who had brought me the message that saved my life. Still more importantly, he was the bearer of the Grace and of the principles that shortly afterward led to my spiritual awakening. This was truly a call to new life in the Spirit. It was the kid of rebirth that has since become the most precious possession of each and all of us.

As I looked upon him where he lay in perfect repose, I was stirred by poignant memories of all the years I had known and loved him.

There were recollections of those joyous days in a Vermont boarding school. After the war years we were sometimes together, then drinking of course. Alcohol, we thought, was the solvent for all difficulties, a veritable elixir for good living.

Then there was that absurd episode of 1929. Ebby and I were on an all-night spree in Albany. Suddenly we remembered that a new airfield had been constructed in Vermont, on a pasture near my own home town. The opening day was close at hand. Then came the intoxicating thought: If only we could hire a plane we'd beat the opening by several days, thus making aviation history ourselves! Forthwith, Ebby routed a pilot friend out of bed, and for a stiff price we engaged him and his small craft. We sent the town fathers a wire announcing the time of our arrival. In midmorning, we took to the air, greatly elated -- and very tight.

Somehow our rather tipsy pilot set us down on the field. A large crowd, including the village band and a welcoming committee, lustily cheered his feat. The pilot then deplaned. But nothing else happened, nothing at all. The onlookers stood in puzzled silence. Where were Ebby and Bill? Then the horrible discovery was made -- we were both slumped in the rear cockpit of the plane, completely passed out! Kind friends lifted us down and stood us upon the ground. Whereupon we history-makers fell flat on our faces. Ignominiously, we had to be carted away. The fiasco could not have been more appalling. We spent the next day shakily writing apologies.

Over the following five years, I seldom saw Ebby. But of course our drinking went on and on. In late 1934 I got a terrific jolt when I learned that Ebby was about to be locked up, this time in a state mental hospital.

Following a serious of mad sprees, he had run his father's new Packard off the road and into the side of a dwelling, smashing right into its kitchen, and just missing a terrified housewife. Thinking to east this rather awkward situation, Ebby summoned his brightest smile and said, "Well, my dear, how about a cup of coffee?"

Of course Ebby's lighthearted humor was quite lost on everyone concerned. Their patience worn thin, the town fathers yanked him into court. To all appearances, Ebby's a final destination was the insane asylum. To me, this marked the end of the line for us both. Only a short time before, my physician, Dr. Silkworth, had felt obliged to tell Lois there was no hope of my recovery; that I, too would have to be confined, else risk insanity or death.

But providence would have it otherwise. It was presently learned that Ebby had been paroled into the custody of friends who (for the time being) had achieved their sobriety in the Oxford Groups. They brought Ebby to New York where he fell under the benign influence of AA's great friend-to-be, Dr. Sam Shoemaker, the rector of Calvary Episcopal Church. Much affected by Sam and the "O. G." Ebby promptly sobered up. Hearing of my serious condition, he had straight-way come to our house in Brooklyn.

As I continued to recollect, the vision of Ebby looking at me across our kitchen table became wonderfully vivid. As most AA's know, he spoke to me of the release from hopelessness that had come to him (through the Oxford Groups) as the result of self-survey, restitution, outgoing helpfulness to others, and prayer. In short, he was proposing the attitudes and principles that I used later in developing AA's Twelve Steps to recovery.

It had happened. One alcoholic had effectively carried the message to another. Ebby had been enabled to bring me the gift of Grace because he could reach me at depth through the language of the heart. He had pushed ajar that great gate through which all in AA have since passed to find their freedom under God.

*********************

On a personal note....
Just like Ebby who died without ever attaining continuous sobriety, some the most influential people on my journey never stuck around.
~strange that

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

TiR - Tradition Three

gangsterboyscout — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:50:24 GMT

There are many reasons why people stay in a relationship other than a mutual desire: feelings of financial security, the need for emotional security by having a mate, feeling trapped due to responsibilities such as having children to raise and the fear of having to do so alone. These are difficult problems to deal with and are the breeding ground for anger and resentments.

Some days, we are both intolerable or uncompromising and the desire is all there is. When either of us is being an jackass, the other must try to be accepting, kind, tolerant, loving, and understanding - and silent. After all, the next time the roles will be reversed and it will be the others turn to be a jerk. Believe us, during those times you will want kindness and understanding.

The first two years we were married we were totally obsessed with each other to the exclusion of nearly every other person or thing in our lives. We were absolutely inseparable and our whole existence was moonlight and passion. It has since become more. We are now also friends, helpmates, confidantes. We now try to be patient, tolerant, with regard for the others feelings. Do you know what we would do for each other? Anything!

Enthusiasm for our relationship ebbs and flows. There are days when one or the other of us become lazy about upholding our part of a relationship. But these attitudes are temporary and they pass because of the fundamental aspect of our relationship: we love each other - no matter what else may go on in the world, Polly and Dave truly, deeply love each other. And when our best is not very good, we always try to remember this bit of wisdom: if we could do better, we would.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 3:

Do my actions say that I have a desire to be in this relationship.
Do I set myself up as a judge of my partners intentions or sincerity? Do I judge my partner in anything?
Do I approach my marriage unselfishly or do I depend on my mates language, looks, race, education, age, appearance, job, or other such things for my own self esteem? What does my mate have to do to keep my ego fluffed up.
Am I committed to and do I encourage my mates spiritual, professional, and individual growth and freedom?
Am I able to share my feelings with my partner? Can I listen to my partners feelings with an open mind?
Am I reluctant to work on my part of the relationship?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

TiR - Tradition Two

gangsterboyscout — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:00:26 GMT

2. For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority: A loving God as he may express Himself in our group conscience. Each of us is God's trusted servant - neither governs

God is the boss. He is the one authority and we must learn somehow to subjugate our ego's and allow Him to do what he does best: guide his children. When one partner speaks for the relationship without consulting the other member, they take on responsibilities to which they have no claim. Often, one partner is a dominating individual. Sometimes, one partner is very content to allow the other to dominate the relationship. This allows the dominator to feel indispensable and important and without realizing it, he or she then assumes a managing and controlling attitude. This is especially true when the one being dominated is afraid and unsure of themselves and want someone else to be responsible for all the decisions. They may feel that this absolves them of any kind of blame for mistakes or failure. In a situation such as this, love doesn't exist. We must remember that active participation by both members in the relationship is vital to its growth. No partner can assume the position of speaking for the other without first having consulted him or her. Another word for this, at the very least, is courtesy. Usually, most of us find courtesy easily practiced with strangers or those outside our relationships yet when we are dealing with the most precious persons in our lives, we sometimes leave simple kindness out of our manner.

Of course, we are not aware of God personally sorting out our arguments and disagreements. We have to somehow work those out. There are times when each of us thinks the other is dead wrong about something. We are certain of it. But no matter what is done or said, he/she is not even going to see his/her error, much less admit it. Could such circumstances turn into a rip-roaring fight? You bet! We've all been in such predicaments. What does one do? We just say, "you could be right" and then drop it. This solution is absolutely magic.

There is another tool that we can recommend but you probably won't like it.. We call it the 8 miracle words for problem solving. Are you ready? "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

One problem we have had is that neither of us likes confrontation. We will stuff things rather than risk a flare-up. We are too insecure. The risk for doing this however is that resentments can build up. So it is important that we do whatever it takes to communicate with each other.

When this tradition is practiced, a state of humility exists because the authority is a Higher Power.

CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 2:

Do I insist on being the leader. Do I feel that it is my place to govern? Do we strive for equity?
Do I try to speak for my mate without consulting him/her?
Do I criticize my mate? Or do I trust him/her?
Am I absolutely trustworthy? Try this little prayer: "God, treat me tomorrow the way I treat my mate today. Or this one: God, help me not to do anything today that I can't tell my mate about tonight".
Is my ego so strong that I must have credit for more than I do? Am I so insecure that I must always have praise for my actions and ideas?
Do I do my share? And is that my opinion or my partners?
Does the thought of God being in charge of our relationship cause me any discomfort or do I like and rely on that idea?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 8 replies

Critical Thoughts

harold — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:05:19 GMT

www.orange-papers.org/menu1.html

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 37 replies

TWELVE TRADITIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS - 1

gangsterboyscout — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:46:18 GMT

1. Our common welfare should come first. A healthy relationship depends upon unity.

"If you have one hundred people who live together, and if each one cares for the rest, there is One Mind."
--Shining Arrows, CROW
One of the principles of Community is Unity. The alignment of thoughts in groups of people will cause One Mind to form. One Mind is Unity. Each individual in the community must align their thoughts with what other members are thinking. If all the people think of helping one another, then the community will be service oriented and powerful results will be enjoyed. Having our thoughts aligned within a group will cause our children to experience a positive environment. When they have children, the grandchildren will automatically experience these results also.
Unity means that the two of us make one whole. Ask yourself: Do I think of my partner and myself as a unit? Our book says that selfishness and self-centeredness are, we think, the root of our problem. Are you selfish or self-centered with respect to your marriage or relationship? Do you think in terms of our house, our cars, our bank account, our dogs, our furniture? Or do you think in terms of my car, my money, my phone, my stuff? If you are thinking mostly about yourself, you are not likely to have a relationship with another person that will bring you joy and happiness.

We have had couples ask us about money. Money is, or should be, uncomplicated and a sign of unity is how infrequently money is a topic of heated discourse in your house. Polly and I have a joint bank account. It contains ALL of our money. Whenever either of us comes into possession of money, we put it in our bank account. From that bank account, we pay our bills and then share the rest. During any given period, she may get a little more or a little less than me but we believe that over any long period, it works out even. The problem I most often see is that one or both people are afraid they are not going to get their share (more if possible) so they watch and sneak and try to deprive and ultimately fight and haggle. If there is $100.00 to share, you have a $50.00 problem. To solve it, worry about your partners $50 instead of your own. Do everything you can to make sure your partner gets their $50.00. The problem will disappear.

Several years ago, a friend and I were discussing how much fun it would be to take a month off and go to Nepal and hike up to Everest base camp. I told Polly about it that night when I got home. She did not say what about me. She did not say how much will it cost. She did not say what will I do. She immediately said, "Why don't you go". We encourage each other to follow our passions and because of that, neither one of us ever feels cheated.

Unity begins with each individual. Having a solid relationship with a Higher Power within is vital to expressing unity in a relationship. If you are following the guidance and will of God, as you understand him, you are more able to participate in a healthy loving relationship. Why? Because a working relationship with God provides faith and faith removes fear. Unity requires harmonious cooperation. Unity demands a willingness to listen to the ideas, feelings, and opinions of the other with an open mind. Unity means sharing views and not insisting on promoting our own way as the only way.

There are at least three areas in a relationship where I believe there must be union: The intellect, the emotions, and the genitals. There should be attachment in all three areas. You should find your partner intellectually stimulating, emotionally attractive, and sexually enticing. Polly is my rock and that is a very unifying characteristic. I admire her. I like her. I think she is beautiful and even sensual when she wants to be. She is fun to be with. She doesn't give me a lot of attitude. I learn a lot from her. It amazes me how easily she does some things that are so difficult for me. She is very trusting, generous, and non-judgmental; qualities that enrich her life and the lives of those about her. She is bright, has a nimble mind, and a lot of enthusiasm for life.

Unity cannot automatically preserve itself. Like personal recovery, we shall always have to work to maintain it. Here too, we need honesty, humility, open-mindedness, unselfishness and, above all, vigilance. So we must ponder carefully the experience others have already had of trying to work and live together. Relationships can go on benders too.

"Hear me! A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong."
--Tecumseh, SHAWNEE
You can take one arrow and break it in half. But if you take 12 arrows in a bundle, it's almost impossible to break any of them. There is strength in Unity. When we are together we are very powerful. This is the way the ancestors told us we need to be. Strong. We need to unite ourselves. This is why the Elders say, when we make decisions, we must first consider the good of the people. If every person in the community thinks this way, then we will always make strong decisions.
CHECKLIST FOR TRADITION 1:

What am I willing to sacrifice for our relationship?
What affect do my actions have on our relationship? On our family?
Am I a giver or a taker?
Do I do unifying things? or am I quick to criticize? Slow to praise?
Do I use silence as a refuge or punishment while expecting my mate to read my mind?
Do I listen when my mate has something to say?
Do I admire and approve of my mate? Does he/she know that?
Am I a healing, mending, integrating force in our marriage or am I divisive?
Am I a peacemaker? Or, because of my own insecurity, is it critical to my ego that I be right?
Can I be flexible? Flexibility is taught by nature. You will see the trees bend in the wind. You will see that tree branches are flexible. To be rigid is to break. When we have life problems it is good for us to be flexible. Sometimes we need to flow with what is going on. If we resist, it becomes more painful. We need to be on the path of least resistance. Water flows down the mountain through the path of least resistance. Electricity flows through the path of least resistance. Power flows through the path of least resistance.
Flexible strength is better than inflexible. Let the storm flow over you, and then pop back up."

What must my mate do to accommodate my insecurity? My ego? Can he/she have both male and female friends? Can he/she go wherever he/she wants with whomever he/she wants, mostly whenever he/she wants?
Do I try to be understanding when my mate rubs me the wrong way or does something that upsets me or am I abrasive and rageful?
Do I spout platitudes about love while indulging in and secretly justifying behavior that bristles with hostility? Do I sneak around and do things that I know my mate won't like or that will violate our values.
Do I share all of me - good and bad? Or do I have secrets? Have some secrets. We do not advocate emotional nudity. We all need a well-placed emotional fig leaf at certain times. Never, never will we suggest that anyone "let it all hang out". You may say that doing so makes you feel better. Well, so does throwing up, but it's hard on the people around you.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

I'm STILL not cured?!? CRAP!!!

hundbiss — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:33:26 GMT

Wouldn't you just know it. Allow me to explain.

The other day, I discovered an old girlfriend on Facebook. Not just any old girlfriend, no this one was special. And to boot, we never really had closure, left the whole thing sort of open ended when we parted ways. Now, until I came across her name, I hadn't really given her much thought except for the occasional "Gee, I wonder whatever happened to her?" sort of thing. So as I sat there staring at the "Send" button after I had written a short hello how the hell are you after all these years, I wondered if I really wanted to know. Hey, I'm an emotional stalwart. SEND. PPhHHHtttttt!!!!! Swell idea that turned out to be. She's doing just fucking great, according to the pics on her page and from what I can gather in her bio. Still doing all the stuff we used to love to do together, but now with her husband. (this is where my head starts to wind up the "Fuck me Sideways" spring) Now I expected a bit of something or another, but the 3 days of non-stop, practically can't sleep, exploding brain emotional washboard that ensued struck me as a bit much. Throughout all of this, I must mention it did not cross my mind not even once to contact my sponsor, go to a meeting, check in with you guys online, or anything else that would be standard procedure for someone of my vast sober experience. No sir. Not once. So I ran with it. You know the drill, brain going 90 mph in a hundred directions all at once, and your feet are nailed to the floor. Fucked.

So eventually, I decided to unload on a few cohorts here as best I can in German. Now, when it comes to talking shop, I do pretty well. But emotional, touchy feely stuff doesn't come up much on the jobsite, so my vocabulary there is pretty limited. Nonetheless, I figured, better to take some of the power out of it by talking about it the best I can. Concurrently, I had struck up a dialogue with the old flame. As it turns out, life for her isn't perfect either, which I intellectually knew to be a simple matter of fact, but was apt to not include in my imagined scenarios of "what could have been". Head still going strong at this point. I had also concluded by this time that the entire reaction was not justified and she must have triggered something else in my life that was not quite right. I was missing something, but what? Home? My family? Friends?

On Thursday, skipped out on work and went snowboarding with my supervisor. I decided to use the drive time to talk about it once again to take a little more power out. We do stuff together pretty regular, so it's not like we don't talk much, though usually not about anything deeper than shop chatter. He's a pretty solid guy. But I was not in any way prepared for what he would tell me. As I was going on and on about the whole thing, talking about whether I had made the right choices in life, and no matter what I do now, there's a compromise to be made, he stopped me and said, "Bob, wenn du die Hohere Macht folgst, es gibt keine Kompromissen!" WTF?? That stumped me. (Oh, that means "Bob, if you follow the higher power, there are no compromises!) He basically said that if I line up my will will with whatever spiritual thing that's up there, then I don't need to sacrifice anything. I STILL didn't get it, and argued that I need to give up what I want to follow that path, and that's a compromise, so don't give me that crap. He then went on to say he has the same problems. He gets caught up in that crap, then runs across one of his books on meditation or the like at home, picks it up and the problem goes away. It boils down to proper use of the will and perspective. We don't know what's going to be best for us most of the time. We have to keep ourselves spiritually tuned and trust in that power. When he tunes in to it, everything works out just like it should and he has no regrets, no compromises. (there's a slight thud as my jaw drops to the floor) He really doesn't know me all that intimately or how my head works, or have any program experience, nor have we ever talked "God", but he just fucking NAILED it.

After I pick up my jaw off the floor of the van, I spend the rest of the day considering what he said. I'll be damned if it doesn't make perfect sense. Not long into it I start to remember all the little things I used to hear and SAY MYSELF. You know, level of serenity being proportionate to level of acceptance, following spiritual law, power of prayer, meditation, meetings, fellowship. All of that stuff about maintaining our spiritual fitness. Could it be that my problem was actually not HER, but my spiritual condition? Could some 4 years of essentially no meetings, no book, no prayer, no meditation, and no fellowship have somehow affected me in a less than favorable manner? After talking with an AA friend of mine with comparable sober time who happened to be in the area Friday, we confirmed that I do indeed need to continue with all those things we tell each other to continue doing even if I find it convenient to discontinue them in order to continue resting on my laurels.

So I'm back. Yeah. Hi guys.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 13 replies

Wisdom or humilty or both...

Francisco — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:13:26 GMT

I saw this on a church billboard today, "Wisdom has two parts: 1)-Having a lot to say. 2)-Not saying it." I actually think that speaks more to humility but it does indeed speak to wisdom because it requires wisdom to know what to say and what not to say, just as it requires "wisdom to know the difference". :-) What's your definition of wisdom? Does wisdom make us humble?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

Happiness

LittleMIke — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:09:23 GMT

There is a character in a book I’m listening to that I really enjoy. He’s the equivalent of a mafia don in Pakistan. His character is greatly respected for his wisdom and his ability to lead.

Weekly the crime bosses get together to discuss the business of crime and whatever else that needs to be discussed. After the business is done they sit and pose philosophical questions and then go around the circle and each murdering, thieving and conniving boss gives his take on it. This really is one of my favorite parts of the book. Picturing these middle-eastern crime lords sitting around passing the pipe and tackling these questions cracks me up.

Then the question is asked why is there suffering and why do some suffer more than others. Te answer that really resonated with me was that when we grow up we realize that happiness is fleeting. And this information disillusions and hurts us. And how much we suffer is a `mark of how much we’ve been hurt by this realization.

When I was a boy I believed that I would grow up. Have all the things that we’re all suppose to have. The house, the car, the retirement, etc. The American dream. This hasn’t been my story. And yes I believe I was greatly hurt by the realization that these bits of happiness weren’t a given. My suffering prolonged.

In the programs I’ve seen people that have had to struggle in their lives that excel in our programs past those that haven’t had it that bad. Meaning those that know that they have to work to get what they want have a leg up because they realize earlier that happiness isn’t a right. That happiness is just part of our life experience. How big of a part I believe greatly depends on our efforts but it isn’t guaranteed.

Today I measure my happiness in the laughter of my dearest friends. The camaraderie I feel riding next to a brother or breaking bread with loved ones. The wind pressing into my chest. Running in the cold. A good cup of coffee. The way a wave forms and then breaks. All the little bits of happiness that I garner I store away in my memories for those times when things aren’t so happy.

Most importantly I think this question that was asked in a novel has helped me to realize something. Being aware that happiness is fleeting I should remember to hold fast to it when it’s around, and take the time to enjoy it. Who knows when it may be gone?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

If I Let Go

Laura's New Profile — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:19:24 GMT

Of all negativity, what will I be left with? Who will I be?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 9 replies

rent a sponser

shivati — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:02:06 GMT

my bf emailed this to me- pretty funny :)

http://www.thejaywalker.com/pages/rent-a-sp.html

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Acceptance & Relationships?

gangsterboyscout — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:25:05 GMT

Mister Webster defines Acceptance as 'seeing things as they are'. Which says a lot for my anger and depression. Making you into something you arent is alot of fucking work.. stay put and read your script and we'll all be happy.
Right?

Sounds like my prayer aughta be to a hostage negotiator.

Acceptance isnt about 'liking' anything, its about telling the Truth. About who I am, and who you are and where my feet are really planted. Because without looking down at MY shoes first, I can walk forward, head high all I want but if I think I'm in Toledo but it smells like San Jose? Flat on my face I go. Every fucking time.

And for a splitblinknanosecond - I know. And if I dont grasp that mustard seed of Truth quickly, its back to the ego mines I go, scrambling for eloquent reasons my life is your fault. Back to being loyal to my suffering, wearing my ignorance around my neck like a virtue and embracing only fellow purveyors of my fine bullshit.

Yeah Acceptance is the key alright ~ Acceptance that once again its as simple as Neil's got the Serenity Prayer backwards. It happens a lot when I'm running the show - you know. Wisdom, my ass - pass the duct tape and just read your script.

Pray, everything else is bullshit.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 19 replies

Man Gets 50 Years For Killing His AA Sponsor

gangsterboyscout — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 23:23:17 GMT

Man Gets 50 Years For Killing His AA Sponsor
LONG BEACH, Calif. (AP) ― A Long Beach man who shot and killed his Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor at an AA meeting has been sentenced to 50 years to life in prison.

Jurors convicted Scott Gordon Reynolds of the first-degree murder of 33-year-old Uriel Noriega. He was sentenced Thursday by Superior Court Judge Jesse Rodriguez.

The 29-year-old defendant testified that he snapped after Noriega told other members at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting two years ago that Reynolds is gay, a secret confided by Reynolds to only his mother and the AA sponsor.

Reynolds claimed he brought the weapon to the meeting at St. Luke's Episcopal Church because he planned to commit suicide in front of fellow AA members.

Prosecutor Patrick O'Crowley says "none of that was substantiated" during trial.
(© 2008 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 4 replies

Free of Me

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 19:07:49 GMT

I spent last night with a couple of old friends. I had been feeling down about my how life has been going as of late. Finances hit hard, credit gone, on my own for the first time in many years and now news of layoffs at work and a kid ready to start college next year.

I was wondering how I was going to pay for all this and complaining as I do about my hard life. These two wonderful people with 3 kids told me how they were getting evicted from their home right now.They are living on less than 30k a year and could do it on less than that and have. They told me where I could go for financial aid for my daughter’s school (where they went for their son) and all with a smile and telling me how blessed they were and how god would take care them if they did the foot work. They are not alcoholics but now you know why I love them...Offering me support WOW

Well this morning after that eye opening slap in the face about my high class problems I have been calling in a few favors with friend hoping to lend a hand in their house hunt they have a 60day notice and you know what not thinking of myself all morning and helping others I was laughing singing and feeling should I say it happy and carefree. OK Mom & Dad the 12th step I get it!!!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

Head Trip

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 02:28:00 GMT

OK I am just going to through this out there and see what I get. I have not been going to meetings now for about 6 weeks. I finally went to a small meeting in someones home Sunday it was horrible I was scared to death. I have gone to hundreds of meeting and I have not felt like this since I was new. I want to call someone to go with me but I feel like an idiot I have over two years tI feel so stupid but I cannot get out of my head. I do not know if it is pride or what it is not like I have gone out or anything does anyone have suggestions? I feel trapped and isolated.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

Dear Abby At a Loss

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:12:33 GMT

Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until
one night he came home sober. (I love this one!!)

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Hubris

onearm — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:28:42 GMT

The people I fell in with in recoveryland seemed to be the ones who actually enjoy being called on their shit. All of the sudden I'm in this a tenth-step chess game where I play a cartoon scumbag six days a week just so someone can shake her/his finger at me on the sabbath. It's like: wanna have a contest to see who can get the most humble?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

You Kill Me

hundbiss — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:21:12 GMT

Anybody see that movie? Pretty good. Ben Kingsley is great as a hit man who has to get sober and is forced to go to meetings by the mob.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

Delta waves

onearm — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:29:19 GMT

So, do any of you guys sleep? How much?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 2 replies

happy birthday!

gangsters-girl — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 07:10:11 GMT

our very own GB has 26 years clean and sober today!
damn thats a looooooong time...just sayin.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 16 replies

How to deal with resentments

Rossco — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:55:27 GMT

Hi I am 18months sober, have a great new life due to my higher power, a sponsor, AA & Other friends, the steps, service work and AA meetings.... but I still get resentments over small but annoying things.

I had not paid a $40 Pet registration bill for many months believing ignoring it would not be the worst thing inthe world and I would probably get a bill for $50 or $60 for being late. I got a $500 bill. I got a resentment...several actually.

I acceptmy wrong in this, I should have paid the bill. I resent the punishment being far greater than the crime. I am told Alkies can't afford normal emotions like anger... but I am angry.

Advice please

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 8 replies

Am I still a slave?

Elizabeth — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:19:33 GMT

When I was drinking/using that is a no brainer. Of course I was a slave to the alcohol and drugs. With being sober today, am I still a slave?

At my home group today a woman with quite some time in was sharing how she was at her daughter's 40th birthday party and her daughter was totally shit faced as were a lot of other members of her family.

Some members (with quite a bit of time in) shared how they had to stay away from the booze and had to go to meetings all the time. They shared that their "ism"/disease is alive and well and likes to rear its ugly head.

I wonder though. If I cannot attend certain functions because they might "tirgger" stuff, am I not still a slave to the booze? Is it still making decisions for me?

The other "thing' I took issue with was so many people were saying "I have to go to meetings". Yet few were saying "I have to work the program of action". You see I can go to a million meetings (I did for the first 2 years I was in AA..but I was still using) but meetings alone do not keep me sober.

Meetings are essential, I will not deny that. But are meetings of any use if we do not work the program of action outlined by the Big Book? Am I "sober"/recovered if I cannot be around booze for fear of relapsing?

Just kind of curious as to your thoughts.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 19 replies

Who's going to Burning Man

sweetmanstrongman — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:35:41 GMT

Who might I run into on playa or at a meeting?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 4 replies

12 Today :-)

david — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:20:58 GMT

Been a rough couple of years, but I have managed to muddle through and life IS good.
Thank you to all of the people that have been there for me.
And all of the people that have posted in this forum that I may not know, but still relate to.

Have a great day,
Dave

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

birthday wishes

gangsters-girl — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:11:31 GMT

our very own BK has 2 years today...

Yay, happy happy balinda, congratz!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

The Cleaner

AverageAmerican — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 00:21:11 GMT

http://www.aetv.com/the-cleaner/

This looks interesting.
After producing Intervention a few years, A&E takes it another step.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

A Birthday on and off of the Playa

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:21:04 GMT

I will be a virgin this year. I will also be a lamplighter. I need to know where all of the meetings are going to be held at every hour of the day and night. AA, NA, CA if the addiction is there I"m there if it is in the way of my life, If I spend the rent money on it, end a marriage, risk my health, inhale concentrated male cat piss and hallucinate then I need a meeting for it.
I have been doing The Dew one day at a time since 8/28/1992
My ETA on the Playa will be 1:00 am 8/23/2008

My camp will be the lamplighter Village-Poi, Love and Kerosene!
I am registered as Astraea

Thanks for your support

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 4 replies

Freewill, Destiny, Fate

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:46:09 GMT

Can these all live harmoniously in the universe? Are we free to chose as the book says or are we set upon a pre-determined path?
Does one philophy negate the other or do they compliment each other.... by our free will do we set our feet upon the path we have chosen and thus meet our fate?

Thoughts Anyone????

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 19 replies

Unbelievable

AverageAmerican — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:32:33 GMT

DUI suspect had highest alcohol level recorded

http://www.projo.com/ri/northprovidence/content/dui_bac_07-23-08_BLAV3UB_v22.411a2ee.html

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 4 replies

The Tao of Should

gangsterboyscout — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:48:23 GMT

A buddy of mine just busted this out on a non-recovery tribe. It made me all tingly on the inside.

"A wise friend told me once to be mindful of the word "should." It implies an effort to live up to an expectation usually not our own."

Thoughts, opinions, counterpoints?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 25 replies

Heard at a meeting....

AverageAmerican — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:41:32 GMT

...a guy that picked up a 2 month chip:

"They were the longest two weeks of my life. Of course I was
conscious the whole time and maybe that had something to do with it."

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 25 replies

I'm 27 today.

sweetmanstrongman — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:38:00 GMT

I was a young man when I came into the program but I feel and act younger now than in 1981.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 13 replies

Beligerent Denial - the energy drink!!!

gangsterboyscout — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:30:56 GMT

Ha!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rBLNRgT3YQ

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

Just for fun.

AverageAmerican — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:10:49 GMT

Veni, vidi, velcro ... I came, I saw, I stuck around.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

6 years today

Francisco — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:24:52 GMT

Thank you everyone for my sobriety.

"Together we can."

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

"How you think and talk will influence how you relate."

Francisco — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:01:08 GMT

Today I am more aware of my thoughts and words. Generally I try to catch myself when engaging in negative thoughts and at the same time I pay attention to what I say. Am I being positive when I speak or am I being negative? I usually try to follow the old adage, "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." I don't follow this adage at all times however; sometimes our honesty requires us to say some not so nice things. At the same time I try not to bludgeon anyone with honesty.

Have you noticed a change in your thoughts and speech? Has that change influenced the way you relate with others?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 4 replies

Attention SF Bay Area Women

AverageAmerican — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:01:39 GMT

For women in the San Francisco Bay Area, the next Broads Without
Booze luncheon will be held on Sunday, July 27 at 11:30 a.m., the
speaker will be Gerry H. from Chicago. If you are interested, would
like a flyer, or need more information, contact Linda at
<linda_gemini@yahoo.com> or Claudia at <claudiacamp@sbcglobal.net>
There is no registration at the door for this event, pre-registration
only.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

The Save 'Em A Seat File

Ron — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 05:48:53 GMT

Muncie man goes out drinking, ends up in trash truck
By LATHAY PEGUES

MUNCIE -- A Muncie man is finally breathing a sigh of relief -- but the smell his nose took in early Thursday morning wasn't so pleasant.
William M. Bowen, 27, gained consciousness to find himself trapped inside a huge commercial dump truck filled with waste and lucky to be alive.
How'd he get there?
That's a question even Bowen can't answer.
The last thing he remembers about Thursday morning was he and some "buddies" drank alcohol around 3 a.m. at End Zone Sports Bar and Grill, at 2430 N. Kilgore Ave.
What happened after that remains a mystery.
About 6:30 a.m., a driver with Rumpke solid waste company emptied a trash bin at Muncie Eye Center, 200 N. Tillotson Ave., into his garbage truck.
He was about to push the lever to the trash compressor when he heard someone screaming from inside the truck.
"He looked up and this gentleman was standing out the top of our truck," said Larry Green, market safety supervisor for Rumpke.
Bowen's only words were that he was cold.
"This gentleman was extremely intoxicated," Green said.
An employee at the Muncie Eye Center called police to report the strange incident.
"I've been here with this company for 10 years and this is the first time something like this has happened," said Frank Winconek, CEO for Muncie Eye Center.
"Was he sleeping in the Dumpster? I don't know," Winconek said.
Green believes it's possible Bowen could've been picked up from a trash bin on a previous run closer to the End Zone Bar.
Prior to arriving at Muncie Eye Center, Rumpke crews emptied trash at White River Plaza, located in the 2100 block of White River Boulevard -- under a half-mile away from the bar. Muncie Eye Center is more than a mile from Bowen's last known destination.
If that's the case, though, Bowen's body was indeed compressed under the trash.
"He packed the trash before he got to the (Muncie) Eye Center," Green said of the truck's driver.
The incident could've been a lot worse than it turned out to be.
Green said the trash compressor could've caused serious injuries, or even turned fatal.
Bowen was treated and released with minor injuries from Ball Memorial Hospital on Thursday.
He wouldn't tell police who his drinking buddies were.
"I'm just glad it turned out the way it did," Green said. "We didn't have a body that was dead. We had a body that was talking."

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 29 replies

accepting the seemingly unnacceptable

lisa the bloody — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:25:31 GMT

If only. If only I had this my life would be better. If only i was with this person, life would be grand. If only I had more money in my savings, I would feel more secure. If only I were in san francisco by now, my life would rock. If only I could get drunk n high every day and still enjoy it, yes folks ugly but true...this is what my disease says. My brain tells me all sorts of fucked up stuff for me to worry about or long for.
My amazing life proves otherwise. If I was was meant to be in a relationship, there he/she would be...right by my side. money doesn't matter. out of all people I know that. Growing up in a family where love is expressed by money. Living on the streets with no money but all the love in the world. I'm not prepaired for the big move yet.
This all comes up from the fact that i've tried every way possible to let something go and I can't. UNACCEPTABLE! unafuckingaceptable! I want things my way. well my ways pretty miserable and self destructive. so yet once again I combat my head. Do the exact opposite of what it wants me to do. This works well for me allot.
I have to accept the fact that i can't let this go, but I can let go and let god. See where that takes me. never been disappointing yet. Gotta leap up on my god horse take the reigns and go for the ride. If I don't fight it, it'll be easier. I like to fight it. i've always been rebellious. yet somehow I will get to the other side. You see there's a reason i'm starting the steps over again. and what's the first about besides surrender...acceptance.
My wanting to start the steps over inspired my sponsor to as well. Idn't that beautifull. I feel some reading and writing coming on. prayer and action. more sappy poetry. Love.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

What? An order! I cant go through with it!

gangsterboyscout — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:31:48 GMT

So what area of our life are you still pretty sure you can do a better job than God?

God rarely rides with me in my car. I dont much care for God's choice in porn either.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 16 replies

AA & the Internet

gangsterboyscout — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 15:21:07 GMT

A friend of mine who is my Traditions Nazi...er, guru just found this and posted it on another online meeting site. Aparently our GSO has been busy with something other than rehashing ad nauseum whether addicts belong in AA.

Looks like there's pretty pretty sage suggestions here on all things internet: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_pdfs/mg-18_internet.pdf

"GENERAL SOCIAL NETWORKING WEB SITES
MySpace, Facebook and other social networking Web sites are public in
nature. Though users create accounts and utilize usernames and passwords,
once on the site, it is a public medium where A.A. members and
non-A.A.s mingle.
As long as individuals do not identify themselves as A.A. members, there
is no conflict of interest. However, someone using their full name and/
or a likeness, such as a full-face photograph, would be contrary to the
spirit of the Eleventh Tradition, which states in the Long Form that, “…
our [last] names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast,
filmed or publicly printed.”
Experience suggests that it is in keeping with the Eleventh Tradition not
to disclose A.A. membership on social networking sites as well as on any
other Web site, blog, electronic bulletin board, etc., that is not composed
solely of A.A. members, is not password protected or is accessible
to the public."

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 8 replies

Addicts in AA

BernieD — Sat, 29 Jan 2005 23:50:53 GMT

This was prompted by part of Laura Bee's post of today in Dumped and crying...and it is something I have come accross before in FOB chatrooms and live discussions.

Do drug addicts belong in AA, or an extention of that question is...can one be considered sober if they have not had any booze, but say, smoked some weed?

I have had long time AAers cry to me the "no addicts in AA" speach many times. They throw the traditions at me and the "singleness of purpose" thinghy.

I have noticed that AA is the only subsatance (intoxicant) 12 step program that seems to hold alcohol and drugs as 2 distinct entities. Now, I fully realize that AA is a huge fellowship. Rules for specific meetings or groups vary. But, I have seen, with my own eyes and ears, someone take a cake for 5 yrs sober at an AA meeting, who then mentioed that maybe it was time to take care of their chrystal meth problem now, and no one batted an eye. I know that groups like the Pacific Group are much more tough on that kind of thing, so much so, that even if you are taking doctor prescribed tranquilizers, exactly as directed, that, you cannot claim sobriety at their meetings.

I have been to AA meeting where the discussion is limited to talk of alcohol only, no mention of drugs is allowed, and I have been to other AA meeting where talk of drugs is freely allowed.

All other 12 step substance programs definesobriety as being free from all mind altering chemicals, including alcohol. You cannot claim sobriety in NA while still having some wine with dinner.

What do you all think?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 61 replies

prayers

gangsters-girl — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:32:23 GMT

our miss janie starts her chemo today, please send out lots of love, prayers and good mojo to her as she starts this part of her journey.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 33 replies

Birthday

Kingofsting — Fri, 23 May 2008 16:04:02 GMT

By the grace of God, one day at a time

23 today

Thanks to you all.

Alex

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 6 replies

Photos of Drunks on "Skid Road' SF circa 1940s, 50s

Ron — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 12:29:02 GMT

Here's the link.
fpl.org:82/search?/dFolder%3A+S.F.+Districts-Skid+Row./dfolder+s+f+districts+skid+row/-3,-1,0,E/2exact&FF=dfolder+s+f+districts+skid+row&1,10,

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 8 replies

Sunday Puzzle

rajiv — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 08:22:41 GMT

The AA big book, after telling us of the "vital spiritual experiance" solution proposed by Carl Jung to "our friend", says on page 28 "Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man."
From this statement it is clear that the Big Book is telling us that Bill W was "our friend" who met Carl Jung. But that's not true. Rowland Hazard was "our friend" who'd met Carl Jung.
So my questions to you all are, "Why did Bill W lie to us here?" "Was Bill a compulsive lier and manipulator?" and "Are the rest of the things in the Big Book all lies & manipulations too?"

Maybe my logic or rational thinking is all goofed up. In which case, HELP me get my feet back on the ground.

Much Love,

Rajiv

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 36 replies

Step 9?

AverageAmerican — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:32:17 GMT

http://www.mininggazette.com/page/content.detail/id/500360.html

gotta love it!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

10 Years!

fjnyc2003 — Sat, 10 May 2008 23:04:32 GMT

Just recently picked up my 10 year chip. Feels awesome!!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 11 replies

God is a Stimulator

rajiv — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 04:58:47 GMT

My name s Rajiv. Thanks to the grace of my God, the CES Ultra, I am clean today.

http://www.elixa.com/estim/CES.htm

http://www.cesultra.com/

Keep Coming Back. It (CES) Works

Much love

Rajiv

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 89 replies

About Substance Abuse

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:08:30 GMT

"Anyone who can't go five minutes without a cigarette, or can't stop drinking or is strung out on drugs, knows that after a while there develops an attachment to the ritual of using it that has little to do with your original motive. The original impetus was to feel its effect, and the effect seemed positive at the time." Robert Downey Jr. *drooooool*

Does anyone remember where their line was? Where pleasure became ritual? Do you even agree with this thought?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 15 replies

The highly sensitive person and sensitivity as a temperament trait

MissPixxieStyx — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:27:09 GMT

Are any of you highly sensitive people outside of being an alcoholic and/or have sensitivity as a temperament trait outside of being an alcoholic?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 77 replies

Dreams

Ron — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:47:00 GMT

Dreamt I was organizing my meds (legal, prescribed, lots of) and there was a baggy stuffed down in one of the pill containers. Of course it was a lid (do people still call 'em that?) a bag of marijuana. I thought to myself (in the dream) Wow I've been wanting to get high! Then I immediately thought, who could I give it to?
I called an ex-coworker and he wanted it. He came over and got it but then he turned into a woman from my homegroup and she was going to give it to her girlfriend who was undergoing chemo therapy.
There's lots more but that's all I wanted to share. I didn't smoke it!
Ideally I would've just flushed it right away.
Still, big improvement from past dreams where I steal it, smoke it, push it.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 4 replies

Its nobody's business if you have a child or not

MissPixxieStyx — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:41:03 GMT

An old timer told me that its nobody's business if I have a child or not. That was a shock to me. I have to confess, I hate 'family values', you know what that means here in the SF Bay Area. Has anyone else heard this kind of advice before? Has anyone given this kind of advice before?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 29 replies

Eagles: One Day At A Time

Ron — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:54:39 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9iIq3Tm44A

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 7 replies

I'm Stumped~Call For Help

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:21:32 GMT

Tomorrow (God willing and all that jazz) our Marie (the triber formerly know as Bev) celebrates her anniversary. As is tradition a little ditty is penned in honor of birthday people.....I can't think of a thing that rhymes with Marie (except for a few naughty french terms) for her birthday "poem" over in Podium......HELP!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 46 replies

AA Old-timer's Prayer

Ron — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:04:25 GMT

God, keep me from the habit of thinking that I must volunteer in
every meeting no matter what the topic. Keep my mind free from the
recital of endless details and give me wings to get to the point.
Remind me to guard confidences and to keep still when I feel that it
is necessary to share information "just for someone's own good."
Release me from the need to straighten out everybody else's thinking
and program.

God, I ask for the grace to listen to newcomers. Please help me
to remember the patience with which others listened to me when I was
new. Please seal my lips to giving advice, and help me to remember
to share my experience, strength, and hope. Remind me that my
purpose is to fit myself to be of maximum service to You and the
people around me --- not just other alcoholics.

Help me to remain teachable, God. Teach me the lesson
that, occasionally, it is possible that I may be wrong and remind me
of the freedom that I gain when I am able to promptly admit it and
make amends where necessary. Help me to remember the difference
between making amends and saying I'm sorry.

Help me to be a worker among workers, a friend among friends, and
a drunk among drunks. Keep me from being a bleeding deacon, God, and
help me to walk the path towards being an elder statesman. Keep me
ever mindful that I cannot manage my own life. I don't want to be a
saint, God, show me the way to seek You so that I may continue to
grow along spiritual lines. Remind me to put Rule #62 into practice
in my life every day. It is so easy to take myself too seriously.

Keep me free of gossip, character assassination, and judgment.
Remind me that although I have humbly asked, my character defects and
shortcomings arise when I least expect them. Help me to walk with
serendipity, to see good things in unexpected places and talents in
unexpected people and give me the grace to ! tell them so. Help me to
see that You love each of Your children, and that You do not need my
opinion of them or suggestions on what they might deserve.

Help me to be willing to accept Your answer to my prayers, whether
or not it is the answer that I thought I wanted. You know that I
have trouble with acceptance sometimes, God, so there are times when
You will need to help me to be willing to be willing. Show me how to
walk through life with grace, dignity, and my head held high,
carrying Your message and practicing these principles in all my affairs.

And God, thank You for the people that You have put in my life.
My family, of origin, and of AA. My sponsor, my sponsees,
the people of my home group, the women and men who first reached
out their hands to welcome me to the fellowship of Alcoholics
Anonymous, and the people in the world around me (i.e., my
colleagues, my neighbors, the other drivers on the freeway). I know
today, God, that I could not have walked these steps to get from
where I was when I first walked in the door to the man that I am today,
if it were not for the blessings You have given me through Your
precious children.

Help me to remember to be grateful today, God. For what I've been
given, what has been taken, and for what I have left. For people who
love me and don't even have to, and those that I love. Thank you for
an amazing life God --- I never could have imagined I would be so
blessed.

Thank you.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 34 replies

Interview with Annie Lamott

Ron — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 03:45:15 GMT

"Twenty-three years ago a very hung-over Anne Lamott stumbled into a small church and started what was to be a long journey towards sobriety and sanity."
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/03/10/findrelig.DTL

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

AA Folk Wisdom

Ron — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:47:10 GMT

Watching PBS last night and this brain doctor was discussing ways to get and keep a healthy brain (short of stealing one). Out of 3,000 brain scans from different individuals he found 90 healthy brains!
The scans of alcoholic brains were the worst, then heroin users. But he offered ways to improve the health of our brains. Some of the suggestions are right out of the Big Book: don't drink or use, write down resentments and let go of them, meditate.
But what amazed me was one of his suggestions was suggested to me when I came into the rooms of AA: make a gratitude list daily.
It's not in the Big Book or the 12x12, but it has helped me and my sponsees (the ones who actually did it).
So my question is what AA folk wisdom, if any, that you don't find in the literature has helped you? Pass it on.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 26 replies

From the "Let's save them a seat" Files

AverageAmerican — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:04:50 GMT

Police say man flees stop, reports truck theft in Somerset County
By The Tribune-Review
Monday, December 3, 2007

Police say a Somerset County man fled a traffic stop, went home, shaved his mustache and changed his clothes -- then reported the truck he was driving as stolen.

Conemaugh Township police say they stopped 50-year-old Robert Sadlon for a broken taillight on Thanksgiving night and he ran off.

Later, the same officer went to Sadlon's home near Stoystown to investigate the reported theft. There, he found a just-shaven Sadlon in different clothes.

Sadlon is charged with drunken driving, escape and related charges.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_540889.html

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 24 replies

Sponsors, who needs the SOB's?

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:29:10 GMT

Ever gone for a period of time without a sponsor or know someone who has? What happened?
Once you've gone through the steps, what is the role your sponsor plays in your life?

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

Don't Knock It Til You've Tried It

Ron — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 13:41:44 GMT

This morning in the car, radio tuned to NPR, the discussion was about rehab. A caller, "Jerry" said AA is the worst thing for alcoholics because we don't take personal responsibility for our actions, but give it all to a higher power. The on-air expert agreed.
I wish I had a cell phone. How I wanted to call and say "obviously Jerry's never done a 4th step, let alone 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. or 10. He mustn't have ever even heard them read.
I find this time and time again. The people who yell the loudest about AA not working for them are the people who've never worked AA (the 12 steps).
I uise to go to Weight Watchers. It didn't work for me even though I was at a meeting every week and read the literature. Of course I wasn't following the diet. Duh!
So, if AA doesn't work for you, tell me, did you get a sponsor, work steps 1 through 12, get a service commitment and participate in fellowship? If not...look in the mirror, there lies the problem.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

2nd Month, 2nd Step

Ron — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 06:12:37 GMT

"Came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Any thoughts?

I'm wanting some recovery talk.
As for Step 2, I reword it as, " Came to believe that a power greater than myself WILL restore me to sanity."
I'm still a work in progress. In otherwords I'm still insane!
I'm housebound again and need your ESH.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 13 replies

Please watch this short video

Ron — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 05:40:00 GMT

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=ithct48cqw

I hardly had a happy childhood or parents who were good at parenting.
No matter, I can still benefit from this man's experience.

Love & Peace,

Ron

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 1 reply

Sponsorship

Ron — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 22:13:51 GMT

The effects of sponsorship in 12-step treatment of injection drug users

Byron L. Crape, Carl A. LatkinCorresponding Author Contact
Information, E-mail The Corresponding Author, Alexandra S. Laris and
Amy R. Knowlton
John Hopkins University, School of Hygiene and Public Health, 615
North Wolfe Street, Baltimore, MD 21205, USA
Received 9 August 1999; revised 1 June 2001; accepted 2 June 2001.
; Available online 5 February 2002.

Abstract

What contributes to sustained abstinence from injection drug use by
those who participate in community-based Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is not well understood. We know that
sponsorship is a central element in these programs. To investigate
the relationship between sponsorship and abstinence, we evaluated
NA/AA sponsorship over a 1-year period in a longitudinal study of 500
former and current injection drug users in inner-city Baltimore
recruited from the community-at-large, independent of treatment
center affiliation. The findings indicated that having a sponsor in
NA/AA for this population was not associated with any improvement in
1-year sustained abstinence rates than a non-sponsored group.
However, being a sponsor over the same time period was strongly
associated with substantial improvements in sustained abstinence
rates for the sponsors, controlling for involvement with community
organizations, NA/AA meeting attendance, marital status, employment,
participation in drug and alcohol treatment centers and HIV status.
Involvement in community organizations was also strongly associated
with successful abstinence, controlling for the same variables. Of
those participants involved with community organizations, more than
half reported involvement in church activities. Our investigation
suggests that, for NA/AA sponsors in this study population, providing
direction and support to other addicts is associated with improved
success in sustained abstinence for the sponsors but does little to
improve the short-term success of the persons being sponsored.

The article can be found here: <http://tinyurl.com/2pnv46>

.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

stop the hate

SkOrPiTaRiO — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:44:51 GMT

stop the hate
stop the personal attacks
especially when you live in a glass house

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 34 replies

The Longest Hangover

Ron — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 19:29:21 GMT

The Longest Hangover: 23 Years as an Alcoholic
By Tania Glyde, The Independent UK
Getting plastered can only hide other problems for so long.

http://www.alternet.org/healthwellness/76837/

Interesting Article

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 6 replies

I hate this but it's GB's turn....

Marie — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 03:10:58 GMT

he ain't feeling so good. Let's show him some love.

I'll go first.

I love you...even though you can be a real pain in my bazooka.

Oh sorry N, I meant to say, I love you. a

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 17 replies

Female verson of "Man on the bed"

Elizabeth — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 00:56:08 GMT

Do any of you know of the female version of "Man on the bed" picture? A friend of mine wants it for a t-shirt for some convention type thingee ma bobber.
I've never even heard of it.

Thanks!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

Third Tradition

Ron — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 12:06:00 GMT

My sponsor just sent me this. Thought I'd share it.Here is the story about Irma Livoni. I try to tell this true story about what happened not just on Dec 7th 1941 (Pearl Harbor Day) but what happened to one of thefew women who was in AA at that time, and about a letter she received in the mail, on Monday, December 8th, which virtually kicked her out of AA.

In Dec of 1984, I had been sober for 2-1/2 years, and working with my sponsors Bob and
Sybil Corwi n since Jan of 84. Sybil had gotten sober in March of 1941, so at the time she was 43 yrs sober. We were driving home from a meeting and she asked me the date
(to her it was just Sunday). I told her it was Dec 8th, and that yesterday (Dec 7th) was the anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day.

She said 'Matt, have I ever told you about Irma Livoni?'

'Nope, who is she?'

She said, ''Well, when we get back to the house, come in for coffee and I?ll tell you
a story about AA history and some of the reasons we have tradition 3. Oh, and by the
way Matt, did you know that the literature specifically protects 'queers, plain crackpots,
and fallen women,' and since you and I are at least two out of those three, we should be
especially grateful for tradition 3? I'll show you it when we get home."

I laughed out loud, as Sybil had a great sense of humor, and she had been a taxi dancer, back before she got sob er, you know one of those '10 cents a dance' ladies, and she was
divorced twice, was a single mom, as well as an alcoholic back then, so the term 'fallen
woman' was something that hit close to home.

She had told me that it was very different back in the 30's and 40's for a woman to be
an alcoholic. Sybil said It was a time when women wore hats and gloves, and 'respectable
women' were not usually found in a bar, or at 'whoopie parties.'

Our Thursday night step study had voted to not cover the traditions after we got to
step 12, so I figured they must not be very important and thought I?d probably be bored
with the conversation, but she got my attention telling me that 'queers, crackpots and fallen
women' were mentioned, so I agreed to come in for coffee.

Besides Sybil had been sober longer than I had been alive. I didn't argue with her very
much.

Sybil got down her copy of the big book. She said, I want you to find the traditions in
there, and read me tradition 3. It was a 1st edition Big Book. Thicker than mine.

I said, 'Is this why they call it the Big Book?'

She said, 'exactly, Bill had it printed on big paper, with big margins around the type,
so that people would think they were really getting something for their money.'

I looked in the back of the book, where I thought the traditions were, but couldn't
find them. 'I can't find them, Sybil.'

'Exactly. That's because we didn't have any traditions back in 1941 when I came in. And
Matt, AA was in mortal danger of destroying itself, which is why we have traditions now.'
Then she had me find them in my 3rd edition and in my 12 & 12. I didn't read it all,
just the caption heading, and then she started telling me the story of IRMA LIVONI.

Irma was a sponsee of Sybil's. She also became a member in 1941, jus t after Sybil.
Sybil took her into her home. (Sybil told me that many people's bottoms were very low then,
no home, no job, no watch, no car, nothing).Sybil said it was different then for a woman
to be an alcoholic. That most of them had burned all their bridges with their families,
and were looked down upon, even more so than male alcoholics. Sybil said she watched AA help Irma get sober, watched AA help Irma get cleaned up, watched AA help Irma get her first job in sobriety, and watched AA help Irma get her first apartment in sobriety.

Then she said that on Dec 5th, 1941 a self-appointed group of the members signed a letter to Irma & mailed it 2 days before Pearl Harbor, on that Friday, Dec 5th. Here is a copy of the letter:

------------ --------- ----

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
Post Office Box 607
Hollywood Station
Hollywood, California

December Fifth 1941

Irma Livo ni
939 S. Gramercy Place
Los Angeles, California

Dear Mrs. Livoni:

At a meeting of the Executive Committee of the Los Angeles
Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, held Dec. 4th, 1941, it was
decided that yourattendance at group meetings was no longer
desired until certain explanations and plans for the future were
made to the satisfaction of this committee. This action has
been taken for reasons which should be most apparent to
yourself. It was decided that, should you so desire, you may
appear before members of this committee and state your
attitude. This opportunity will be afforded you between now
and December 15th, 1941. You may communicate with us at
the above address by that date.

In case you do not wish to appear, we shall consider the matter
closed and that your membership is terminated.

Alcoholics Anonymous, Los Angeles Group
Mortimer, Frank, Edmund, Fay D., Pete, Al

------- ----- --------- ----

I was stunned. 'How could they do this, Sybil?'

'Because we didn't have any guidelines, any traditions to protect us from good intentions. AA was very new, and people did all sorts of things, thinking they were protecting the fellowship.'

Sybil then said to close my eyes and imagine my being in the following setting. Sybil
explained that Dec 7th, 1941 was Pearl Harbor Day (a Sunday). She said that that Sunday
night everyone in LA was afraid that Los Angeles would also be attacked and bombed.
There was a citywide blackout, people were so terrified. She said that on Monday Dec 8th,
President Rosevelt gave the speech that talked about 'the date that will live in
infamy' and that we were now at war with Japan and Germany.

She said, that was the day that Irma received her letter. There was only one meeting in the entire state of California when Sybil came in, in 1941. By December there may have been two or three, but Irma had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to. No other Group in California that she could ask for help.

Sybil said, 'Imagine only one or two meetings in your entire state, and being shunned by
your family, and by society, and by the only group of people who were on your side, your AA group. Imagine them shutting the door on you and sending you such a letter, Matt.'

I shivered at the thought of it. It was Christmas time, the stores were decorated and now poor Irma was all alone.

I thought about how it was in 1984 with 2000 meetings a week to choose from in Southern California. and then I imagined having no other help for a hopeless alcoholic.

Sybil told me that Irma never came back to another meeting, left AA and died of alcoholism.
She wrote to Bill about the incident, and I cannot tell you that this is the reason that
the following is a part of the 3rd Tradition, but it certainly seems to apply.

From Tradition 3, page 141:
... that we would neither punish nor deprive
any AA of membership, that we must never
compel anyone to pay anything, believe
anything, or conform to anything? The answer,
now seen in Tradition Three, was simplicity
itself. At last experience taught us that to
take away any alcoholic's full chance was
sometimes to pronounce his death sentence,
and often to condem him to endless misery.
Who dared to be judge, jury and executioner
of his own sick brother?'

------------ --------- ----

JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER

I remember looking at those words again and again, and they seemed to get larger and
larger.

JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER

JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER

JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER

I hadn't really noticed EXE CUTIONER when I had read it the first time at my 12 & 12
study group. Again I felt so bad for this poor lady. Wow, those words really had a different meaning than when I had read thetraditions before. So here it is, 23 years
later, and each December 7th & 8th, I always think about Irma Livoni, and how lucky I am,
that we have traditions now. I also think of how lucky I was to have met Sybil and so lucky that she appointed herself my sponsor.

Years later I realized how everything she ever taught me was like gold. But in 1984 I had no
idea who Sybil really was or how lucky I was to have her as my sponsor. She was like a
piece of living history, but I really didn't realize how valuable that was in explaining WHY we do some of the things we do (like the story she told me about how they never said
'Hi Sybil' and no one said 'Hi my name is Matt and I'm an alcoholic' back then).

Besides being one of the first women in AA, Sybil was the first woman west of the Missis-
sippi. She also became the head of LA's central office for 12 years, and she became close friends with Bill and Lois. She and Bob even used to go on vacation with them. She used to tell me all sorts of stories about Bill Wilson and things he said to her.

He was very interested in how AA would work for women, as there were very few women
worldwide in AA back in 1941. Marty Mann came in before Sybil did, but very few stayed sober.

I learned that night that no one can get kicked out of AA. We can ask a disturbing wet drunk
that he needs to settle down or we might have to ask him to step outside for that day, but
we don't vote to kick anyone out forever. And we don't shun people because our guidelines,
our traditions tell us that no one has to believe in anything (they don't have to be like me) and they don't have to conform to anything(they don't have to dress a certain way, or have no facial hair, or pay anything). Even if I get drunk again, I am still welcome at any AA meeting.

So that's the story about Irma Livoni. Feel free to pass this along to anyone you know who might be interested in knowing a bit about how and why the traditions got started. I think it sort of puts a face on tradition 3: the face of a woman I never knew, who got kicked out of AA. Who got drunk and died.

Thank God for Tradition 3, and thank God for all of you. I truly appreciate and cherish
all the people in this group.

Best AA love to you all.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

Mike NoMoHawk

Marie — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:07:32 GMT

He's in the hospital guys and can read Tribe. If anyone wants to say hello...

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 6 replies

Marie re-joins the workforce

Rick — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 04:13:51 GMT

Our friend Marie, aka Bev, is re-joining the workforce tomorrow. I'm sure she could use words of inspiration, as any time i've more than a couple weeks off it's been a real struggle to get back into the swing of things. If I were her, I would be scared, so anything you've got I'm sure she'd appreciate.

Here are some inspirational quotes about work -

Colleen C. Barrett:
Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.

Colleen C. Barrett:
When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers.

Lena Horne:
Always be smarter than the people who hire you.

Rita Mae Brown:
Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.

Thomas Alva Edison:
Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Vince Lombardi:
Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.

Winston Churchill:
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Helen Keller:
I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 19 replies

Spiritually Stuck, Sick or just bored?

Gigi — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 16:01:32 GMT

Hi all, I dont post much, but lerk around reading them...Sobriety date 1/1/89, I just celebrated a birthday, I stay connected with my sponser, Work with newcomers and go to about 4-5 meetings a week if I need it or not...the thing is...I think I am bored....This, would be when I would tell my sponsees, "red flag"!

I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to...talked about it with my sponser and she says, just keep doing what your doing...it all looks good from the outside, but the inside is screaming..."if I have to hear so and so say this one more time!!~!!!!
Granted, I am froma small community in the Bible Belt, and I get a little skitzy when people start preaching in the meeting, and somtimes remind them we are in a AA meeting,
I am rambling, and really just wondering if any of you who have put some time together have experienced this...Thanks, GIGI

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 24 replies

Amy Winehouse doing her thing! VIDEO

djdamon — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 08:51:22 GMT

.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article710911.ece

I can hardly understand anything she says except the '...6 valium...' part

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 8 replies

The Mess, not the Message

gangsterboyscout — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 06:15:23 GMT

So There i was, minding my own business at my fairly regular sunday gig when this chick picks up the card I'd laid on the seat next to me and hands it to me. (after it'd been there 5 minutes) She says "I was saving this seat." After looking thoroughly up and down for any kind of saving seat token I respond with, "And i was supposed to know this... psychicly?" and place the card back down. She looks at me in that rich girl way and sneers "my friend's prettier than yours." and I chuckle. "I doubt it but good for her."
In mid-sarcasm I catch the chair person standing up and sitting down again in a motion to which we all know. I lean over to RK and *kinda* whisper (it's a big room) "did she just stand up as a fucking newcomer!??!". He nods and fills me in. Last week this same secretary picked a chair with an axe to grind. He called on all newcomers. ***NONE*** had worked the steps.

Color me spoiled. We went and had sushi instead. I really needed a meeting too. But hey God likes unagi too.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 31 replies

LF recovery desktop tools

shivati — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 03:50:22 GMT

hi there! im looking for free online downloads of maybe daily reflections or thoughts... kinda like something that will come up by itself daily automatically (like my weather channel desktop or like a daily horoscope) but for recovery... aa lit, inspirations notes, anything really. thanks...

oh also LF a website with pretty inexpensive but real silver aa or serenity prayer inspired jewlery, bracelets... TY and peace!!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 3 replies

Drunks On Display

Ron — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 02:59:41 GMT

Drunks on Display

hosted by:
Artists and Writers group of AA
We want YOU to perform at the
Talent Show and Benefit for Central Office
Saturday, March 1st at 7:45
If you wish to perform and/or donate cool stuff for a raffle
please contact:
Pete for performances
phone 415.601.2000 or
Bryan for donations
phone 415.336.2784
by Jan 25
12 Performers names will be drawn at the February 1st meeting of Artists and Writers.

Talent Show open to all Painters, Poets, Dancers, Photographers, Ceramicists, Musicians
or whatever your talent is.
Each performance to be 5 minutes in length

Artists and Writers group of AA meets
Fridays 6:30 pm at
All Saints Church
1350 Waller (near Masonic)
San Francisco

I tried to post this as an event but it didn't work.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 0 replies

Cheers

AverageAmerican — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:41:56 GMT

This morning was different. After walking the dog and making a pass by the dumpster to drop off the poop bag I noticed 2 champagne bottles
sitting on the ground just to the left of dumpster. It was dark out and I didn't give it much thought until I got closer and I noticed that had not been popped. I couldn't believe my eyes so I reached down and had a closer look. Sure enough, they were full and unopened. With all my many years sober, my first thought was, no wonder, it was Andre Champagne. Second thought was, someone is going to be very happy when they come across this little freebie. It has been over 2 hours since I saw this and I'm still thinking about it.

Just thought I'd share the secret.

Cheers!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 9 replies

Club House

Elizabeth — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 01:37:13 GMT

In the town I live in we are starting a discussion about creating a club house. In some ways I think it would be AWESOME to not be dependent on other places for a meeting room.
However...
The AA around where I live leaves a bit to be desired. Service structure is virtually non existant. And try to discuss the Traditions or try to bring a group conscience to follow the suggestion of the Traditions and you get a TON of resistance.
Has your area established a club house? How did it go? What is your ESH?
Thanks!

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 5 replies

Responsible Productive Member of Society

Marie — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 01:55:46 GMT

I had a great experience yesterday. I told someone that I did exactly what I had said I was going to do. I got a new job. I've had a tummy ache ever since. As soon as I accepted what appears to be a step up in the direction I want to go, my Loser and Fraud tapes began running. A bunch of others too. I'm turning it over to my hp but so far no luck. I haven't worked in over a year or had alot of face contact and I need to walk in and create relationships with probably 200 or tenants. That is just one thing on the three pages of my job description. My head hurts too. I 'know' that if it's the right place for me I'll be able to step up as needed. I hate starting new jobs, this year especially I don't have the internal fortitude to deal with all the insecurities and other things that arise in a situation like this.

posted in Friends of Bill W. - 22 replies